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My Soul Will Fly ( Splash Pool Submission)

My soul will ascend
Three tiers
To become one with the world

On winged angels
We will meet
In learning
The truth
Of our ways

The world once known
Will pass on
All that is left
Is the mysticism

Together we will
A better

Last few words: 
Editing stage: 


the poem is fine but since Rhia has said it is not in tune with what he meant to may want to re-visit his poem it and also scroll through the comments...

raj (sublime_ocean)

i love it! i don't really see my poem in it, but i get a feel of LIVING MOONLIGHT! great job

Hmm....How does one meet on winged angels? Also the 3rd stanza abruptly changes from future to present tense and could use a bit of transitional smoothing in my humble opinion..........stan

we will need to wait for Rhia to confirm if your perception of his poem as expressed in this write is right...however it is a wonderful flowing write and i loved the way you have expressed the mysticism about the Moon...i hope your perception in this re-write of Rhia's poem is right

(please confirm if i have to click on the "N/A " below "Workshop Critique" to make this comment a valid workshop critique/comment)

raj (sublime_ocean)

You seem to have caught the essence of the poem, in my view.


Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!

It always amazes me the many different ways a poem is perceived by different people..........stan

Though it is much the same, it is soooooo different, like a famous painting caught in a different light, you really caught the subjest this time. I love it.

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