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My life style (may contest).

When the evening comes
Everyone is moody
but only the stars in the sky can tell
of my kind
When the insects whistles
"The birds are silent in their nest"
And men are noisy with their nets
throwing in the 45cl seas.

Catching up their vibes
While the feeling lives in me
Starring at faces of different colors
But their smiles justifies the tales of joy
And the reasons still the value in my thought.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Last few words: 
This poem is about a everyday drinking habit especially the addicted people in the society.
Editing stage: 

Comments

you meant to write [moody] not moddy and what is the significance of the [45cl] seas? It's [vibes] not vives.
I caught a lot of thoughts here, but they struggle to make the connection to each other. I really did like the last few lines, as they give a good feeling of unity even though the faces are of [all different colors]. I see that it is only a rough draft, so keep working, it will shape up. ~ Geezer.
.

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Thanks for your critiques,
It's a rough work anyway you guest right and about the (45cl) seas it signifies the every day alcoholic drinks that people takes on a daily bases.

author comment

be a measure that isn't readily available here. I think that the equivalent is maybe a 40 ounce bottle of beer? Anyway, thank you for taking the time to explain that to me. ~ Geezer.
.

Please acknowledge critique and comments.
They are a vital part of our community!
Critique or comment today!

Nice work! Miss-spellings are the bain of writing... i certainly have my share!

It's nice meeting you and thanks for your comment.

author comment

I like the imagery of insects whistling, and also the juxtaposition of the quote coming after it about silence. It seems like a little tale of taking a drink after work? The joy of a day well spent? Interesting imagery. I didn't understand the last sentence, "And the reasons still the value in my thought." Should it be "the reason's still the value in my thought"? Thanks for sharing!

"The reason's still the value in my thought"
Means for everyone who drinks has a reason for it,it might be for joy,sorrow, celebration, anger or any thing.but it's still valuable to any drinker. Thanks for your question.

Until you live and allow life to pass through you you will never understand life.

I rather learn how to fish than beg for one.

author comment

Most people don't understands my poem sometimes maybe my writing is so different well, I like using idioms and proverbs so much that why but I thank God you do understand thanks a lot.

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I am so happy you like and understands the poem though am short of words but truly I love this family (neopoet) God bless you.

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Am excited really

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it is never a good idea to use digits rather than letters in a poem.

45cl just doesn't work.

The rest of the poem is outstanding.

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet is a workshop. Poets take the time to read and think about your work and offer suggestions.
There is no obligation to make any changes however please acknowledge critique and comments.

I learn day by day here is another lesson for me though thought that by expressing once moment of experience might not that bad but thank you for teaching me again.

author comment

was looking at myself
as selfie

congrats for the novelty
you WIN

I think life is a game we play and gamble on a daily bases but two things are involved,winning and losing and each of them has a prize, a reward or lesson. Thanks once more.

author comment
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