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My Eve

Beauty is not an endeavor for you,
Because you were created in nature;
A natural beauty of a garden for two,
Breath blown into you by the Creator.

Woman-
It was you…

So there I dreamed in all my seclusion,
As I anticipated the day of us meeting;
A prayer was answered against destitution,
A rib extracted while I was still sleeping.

Woman-
It was you…

Baby, you are my Eve,
Blood of my blood, flesh of my flesh
From me you have come
With me you shall leave
With you I forever belong
Because you are my Eve.

No longer shall I be lost in a wasteland,
As my arms long for only you to embrace;
Taught to love you much and so patient,
I sacrifice my all to sanctify us by grace.

Woman-
It was Jesus…

Temptations have no chance against us,
We are joined not by law, but by the Christ;
Faith has brought us together as one in love,
Life as one flesh was paid by blood for all vice.

Woman-
It was Jesus…

Baby, you are my Eve,
Blood of my blood, flesh of my flesh
From me you have come
With me you shall leave
With you I forever belong
Because you are my Eve.

Editing stage: 

Comments

This is a tribute to someone you love I presume I think its really well done, one thing that did stand out was this line

Baby, you are my Eve,
Blood of my blood, fresh of my fresh <--- fresh of my fresh ?

did you mean ... flesh of my flesh ?

it passed me by at the beginning when it was used then when I read it in the end it stuck out at me and I backtracked, these are my first thoughts on this I will return when time permits and offer anything else I can see that could be changed

kind regards Jayne-Chloe

("Always and Forever") - (Never lose a holy curiosity.-Albert Einstein)

I appreciate your critique. Thank you. It is acknowledged.

V/R,
Lamar of Liberty City

author comment

I liked the style of communication between the Lover and the Loved one by using short "Woman....." responses.

The bonds created elements other than physical attraction are well communicated to give it a feel of "made for each other" and "unconditional love" as well as gratitude in the form of His blessings...

I believe a small error may have got unnoticed in "As my arms longs for you to embrace;" where you may want to change "arms longs to " arms long"..

would look forward to read more posts from you..

raj (sublime_ocean)

Thank you... I appreciate the constructive criticism. You have been an inspiration in your critiques.

V/R,
Lamar of Liberty City

author comment
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