Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

The Mute Point

I wonder what's bad or what's good
for some like it hot others cold
be it a drink, or be it food
either way both always get sold

I wonder what's good or what's bad
be an early bird or be late
to catch a flight you wish you had
or feel blessed by your goodly fate

I wonder what's bad or what's good
be penny wise or pound foolish
both wise and foolish often brood
when stocks trade low or are bullish

I wonder what's good or what's bad
to bungy jump or hold my ground
at times it's good to be a bit mad
to pump up and make our heart pound

I wonder what's bad or what's good
summer, autumn, winter or spring
just like us they are nature's mood
repeating like pendulous swing

Why then wonder what's good or bad
when a grain of salt adds to taste
bit of both too in mom and dad
so let's not judge with too much haste

A bit of Jekyll and a bit of Hyde
within each of us does reside

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words: 
This is not supposed to be confirming to any strict form of poetry. Ongoing Workshop of Critique triggered this thought wave but should not be considered as a rejoinder "The Mute Point" is that good or bad is a matter of perception and to me there is a bit of both even in poetry. It is an opinion so every one is not expected to agree
Editing stage: 

Comments

this is interesting. Yes everyone have their own perceptions of things and sometimes we agree, sometimes we disagree. This piece acknowledged both. I loved the way you rhyme it all. Smooth flow and the twist at the end is the acceptance of both. Nicely done. It gives me an idea to write this poem.

Listen and you'll hear
the voice of nature
breaks the silence of night
under the pale
moonlight

Alid

Thanks Alid for your time, read and response.

Regards,

raj (sublime_ocean)

author comment

The form you wrote in is called a Muse. It is also a soliloquy.
It was an odd, but satisfying ride through your tangents that are nicely pulled together (of a sorts) at the end.

W. H. Snow

A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley

Learn how, teach others.
The NeoPoet Mentor Program
http://www.neopoet.com/mentor/about

Thanks for your time and read..

Regards,

raj (sublime_ocean)

author comment

I liked this Raj, the rhyming scheme is refreshingly different and your rhyming is spot on. Can't see any spelling mistakes and grammar all seems good to me!

Only one suggestion: The very last line seemed forced - I will return with a suggestion if so desired! ( but it's up to you of course ). And Wesley didn't mention it, so it may just be me! :) xxxx

I think your poem is well thought out and it's easy to relate to and understand. :)

Keep em coming Raj

Love to you

Thanks for your time and read

Regards,

raj (sublime_ocean)

author comment

good and bad
are planted in all books
some like white some black
some love fools
some behave

so never mind
do good or bad
as you alone would
and we should

butt... twas
this one
really good
by all in the well
under stood

Thank you Lovedly for your time, read and comment

Regards,

raj (sublime_ocean)

author comment

I like this poem though i think perhaps there is a few to many words, sometimes to much can restrict the flow. For example.. I wonder what's good or bad , to bungy jump or hold your ground. At times it's good to act mad, pump up, make your heart pound. Hope this helps, though it's still a good poem with a sound message throughout. Regards Roscoe..

Roscoe Llane,

Religion will rip your faith off, and return
for the mask of disbelief that's left.

Thank you Roscoe for your time, read and comment

Regards,

raj

raj (sublime_ocean)

author comment

I think you want "moot point" where something is open for discussion or depate, or a matter of no practical value or importance becuse it's hypotherical. Whereas the word "mute" to mean silent has no real canonized meaning especially when paired with the word "point"
As I understand from your poem and your last words, you wanted the first one.

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

Follow me
www.instgram.com/rularules1

Thank you Rula for your time read and suggestion

Regards,

raj (sublime_ocean)

author comment
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.