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A murmuration

Submitted by vandiemenspeak on Mon, 2016-09-19 09:37

On the wind a wing
of wave form
elegant, organised flurry
contorting into the muscular dark
light on clouds
the twisting DNA spiral miracles
that lift from the estuary,
from the sea.

The grey salt water that
embodies their form-
an elusive subverting
conscious mass,
ignition of air
torrent of wing
engulfing the mind
of eye bewildered
skewing and shaping
the very sky.

A tumbling dance of life,
you fly
into the eye,
the collective eye of mind
beyond,
into maelstrom centres
of imagined birds,
that escape
escape all earthly vision
and disappear.

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words: 
Trying to imagine starlings, the RSPB outs it best: "A murmuration of starlings is an amazing sight - a swooping mass of thousands of birds whirling in the sky above your head." https://www.rspb.org.uk/discoverandenjoynature/discoverandlearn/birdguide/name/s/starling/roosting.aspx
Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft

Comments

Esker

Mon, 2016-09-19 12:17

Esker's picture

stretching the talent...Excellent Chris!

starllings...knew a couple
who kept one...raised it from
a baby...they have a habit of
pecking the eyes...Instinct
perhaps..or they just like
the shineyness...
ha..

"rawk..Out out Vile jelly..Vile Jelly"
well they are not pirates starlings
but Pirates have a Parrot...
and the Pirate often has an eye
patch!!

birds like fish respond..
people too....
japan and new york time lapse
of major intersections are cool
too watch...Peple who raise
ants too have good vids..

like the species of poets

thank U!

vandiemenspeak

Thu, 2016-09-29 10:46

vandiemenspeak's picture
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atomism, Democritus, the idea, the early idea of some proto atom , unnamed, still uncut, in the name - the idea they had the early pre-socratics, atoms, like dust being bumped and bombarded in all directions but part of some cosmic determinism - not too far from...truth? Must have come from observation, patterns like that you mention, traffic, bird, schools of fish, cars, rain stock markets, the thunder of a thousand feet! All forms, all observable, all unaccountably strange and somehow indifferent, like Engels dialectics of nature, we're just here to sit on the roof and write it all down while it unfolds!

Thankyou.

Chris Hall - Tasmania

Grossbooted draymen rolled barrels dullthudding out of Prince's stores and bumped them up on the brewery float. On the brewery float bumped dullthudding barrels rolled by grossbooted draymen out of Prince's stores.

author comment

Vivovon

Mon, 2016-09-19 20:15

Wonderful words. In particular, I like "the collective eye of mind." Yes, it will be great if I can escape from the "earthly visions".

xxxxx

vandiemenspeak

Tue, 2016-09-20 09:55

vandiemenspeak's picture
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Glad you liked my little word picture..I love to watch the way birds move like schools of fish almost, in water, damn, I could have got that simile in there somewhere!

Take care.

Chris Hall - Tasmania

Grossbooted draymen rolled barrels dullthudding out of Prince's stores and bumped them up on the brewery float. On the brewery float bumped dullthudding barrels rolled by grossbooted draymen out of Prince's stores.

author comment

Sparrow

Thu, 2016-09-29 19:42

Sparrow's picture
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A lovely picture of the starlings at play, don't think anyone understands why they do this aerial display but it is a mind boggling thing to see, it makes the news sometimes but the starlings are in decline at the moment, as with their dance their numbers waver and are up and down a lot.
Your description was great and written well for someone from Tasmania to write about the starling is good, not sure if you have them out there or have you a bird that does the same, I shall have to write about your lovely Island when time permits..
Take care Yours Ian..

.
Give critique to help keep Neopoet great.
Unconditional love to you all.
"Learn to love yourself first"
Yours as always, Ian.T, Sparrow, and Yenti

vandiemenspeak

Wed, 2016-10-05 06:03

vandiemenspeak's picture
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but I lived in the UK up to the age of 28 or so, and I saw my fair share of them throughout Lincolnshire etc. Here we have starlings, and many other stowaway species that came over with Cook and the first fleets:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_birds_of_Tasmania#Starlings

Also, the odd sparrow gives one all manner of problems! No offence intended ;) another interloper, a great place to read about all things Tasmanian (including Sparrows) here:

http://tasmaniantimes.com/index.php?/weblog/article/the-sparrows/

Thanks for the kind words Ian,

Chris.

Chris Hall - Tasmania

Grossbooted draymen rolled barrels dullthudding out of Prince's stores and bumped them up on the brewery float. On the brewery float bumped dullthudding barrels rolled by grossbooted draymen out of Prince's stores.

author comment

vandiemenspeak

Wed, 2016-10-05 06:04

vandiemenspeak's picture
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but I lived in the UK up to the age of 28 or so, and I saw my fair share of them throughout Lincolnshire etc. Here we have starlings, and many other stowaway species that came over with Cook and the first fleets:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_birds_of_Tasmania#Starlings

Also, the odd sparrow gives one all manner of problems! No offence intended ;) another interloper, a great place to read about all things Tasmanian (including Sparrows) here:

http://tasmaniantimes.com/index.php?/weblog/article/the-sparrows/

Thanks for the kind words Ian,

Chris.

Chris Hall - Tasmania

Grossbooted draymen rolled barrels dullthudding out of Prince's stores and bumped them up on the brewery float. On the brewery float bumped dullthudding barrels rolled by grossbooted draymen out of Prince's stores.

author comment

vandiemenspeak

Wed, 2016-10-05 06:05

vandiemenspeak's picture
Volunteer badge

but I lived in the UK up to the age of 28 or so, and I saw my fair share of them throughout Lincolnshire etc. Here we have starlings, and many other stowaway species that came over with Cook and the first fleets:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_birds_of_Tasmania#Starlings

Also, the odd sparrow gives one all manner of problems! No offence intended ;) another interloper, a great place to read about all things Tasmanian (including Sparrows) here:

http://tasmaniantimes.com/index.php?/weblog/article/the-sparrows/

Thanks for the kind words Ian,

Chris.

Chris Hall - Tasmania

Grossbooted draymen rolled barrels dullthudding out of Prince's stores and bumped them up on the brewery float. On the brewery float bumped dullthudding barrels rolled by grossbooted draymen out of Prince's stores.

author comment

vandiemenspeak

Wed, 2016-10-05 06:10

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Sorry Ian, every time I replied,it came up with an error, hence 3 replies!

Chris Hall - Tasmania

Grossbooted draymen rolled barrels dullthudding out of Prince's stores and bumped them up on the brewery float. On the brewery float bumped dullthudding barrels rolled by grossbooted draymen out of Prince's stores.

author comment
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