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Moving

A disassembled life of pictures, books and curiosities,
scattered all about.
Huge jigsaw puzzle meaning little at a glance.
The reason for each piece recalled as dusted off and
packed within a pasteboard box taped tightly shut.
Each box stacked neatly in the center of the room,
waiting patiently to be gathered up and carried off to
some new lodging near or far away.
Their contents emptied in due time and
transformed into a life again.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Review Request (Direction): 
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage: 

Comments

But it really worked for me the nostalgia that comes with moving abode is so well put, I really loved the whole poem but I really thought your ending was wonderful

Their contents emptied in due time and
transformed into a life again.

they really are my favourite lines

love JC x

("Always and Forever") - (Never lose a holy curiosity.-Albert Einstein)

not as we know it.
not as we know it.

I have been seeing and hearing how poetry comes alive aloud. since starting to record people's work again

You may disagree with the way I read it and in the process learn that poetry is the most Anarchic of artforms. Property is theft,

Nonetheless, this is a fine poem on reading, and spills off the lips easily.
My reading, click right on
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1GRpSUDpHCq

the last line could be stronger., please don't ask me for suggestions, it just feels like it ends on a minor chord, perhaps "Fuck off and get alive". No, seriously, just something a bit stronger.

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet Directors

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