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Motivation

Fear works;
has since the earliest tribe,
the first strong voice of unreason

... but reason;
hides in secret corners,
baring greedy teeth,
slobbering success in numbers

... and the following grows.

Afraid;
we congregate,
allured to the heat of the crowd,
and find ourselves growling,
armed ... with mob intention.

Repetition of History
Kill the Enemy
Motivated Murder

... when will we learn?

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Comments

Pue si, nunca. Perhaps never.

Good question notwithstanding that it has been asked many times before, and should be asked until the answer is given, "Today we have learned!!"

V

"When a pickpocket meets a holy man all he sees are his pockets."

Unknown (at least to me)

thank you, and you are so right, this isn't a new question at all, and it is something that will need
to be asked until perhaps one day we can all say " Today we have learned" ... it isn't enough for some
of us to be aware is it, if everyone or at least a majority would set the stage, oh well, one can dream ehh.

thanks for your comment sir

Richard

author comment

"we congregate,
allured to the heat of the crowd,
and find ourselves growling,
armed ... with mob intention."

This is exactly why I avoid crowds.

"When a pickpocket meets a holy man all he sees are his pockets."

Unknown (at least to me)

Great to see you too, I've missed this place so much lately ... thanks for reading!

Richard

author comment

damn, man. I've spent the last month stumbling around other poetry sites on the Net, trying to find some decent poetry.
Trying to find good poetry.
Excellent poetry.
Thank the gods for Neopoet's return.

This is excellent Richard, you say in a few sparse words more than I say on two pages.

An excellent write - good to be able to read your work again.

Respectfully,

Jim

Respectfully, Jim

"Laws and Rules don't kill freedom: narrow-minded intolerance does" - Race-9togo

http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/Race_9togo

So good to see you man, I too have been surfing the web, actually found a site with some
pretty extensive critiques, but the poetry to me was almost generic, passionless, I think it
has a lot to do with modernist poetic teachings, but hey, what do I know. I'm just an old man
that likes to snuggle up with words, and Neopoet is the best place I've ever found, so
good to be back.

Richard

author comment

How I have missed you and Neopoet. I can tell by your poem, you have not rested from your work. The repetition of headings, punctuated with ;,s is very effective.
It will take me a while to navigate this place, I fear, and I have much to catch up with.
Always, Deelilah

deelilah

There you are! It's like my family coming home!

author comment

Isn't it great to be back! Loved your suggestion and although I actually thought about that word
quite a bit, I don't disagree that something else might be more effective. Let me think on it and
perhaps something better will arise, thanks so much!

Richard

author comment

great write
i especially like
'... but reason;
hides in secret corners,
baring greedy teeth,
slobbering success in numbers'

springboard also jarred with me --- can't think of an alternative to suggest, except perhaps - 'rebounding', 'ricocheting'
- or even 'abandoning logic to others' agendas' ...???

love
judy
xxxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

Thanks Judy and China ...

I agree with you both on the line, so I changed it a bit
and tried to keep the same flavor ... did it work?

author comment

i think you're very clever for that
love judy
xxxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

thanks for reading ... glad you liked it !

Richard

author comment

I fear that if we ever evolve to live without conflict we will also lose what ever it is that makes us human. Everybody seems bent on making me think today lol. Good to see you again......scribbler

Interesting view there ... talk about making one think. Makes me question
myself as well, my favorite sport being the gladiator's of today, the contact
sports.

author comment

Fear is a great motivator indeed.
I am a bit perplexed regarding the reaction of ‘reason’
though. Perhaps I am just dense tonight.
I like the way you lead into the second stanza..
“… but reason;
hides in secret corners,” ……to me, that part is very fine.
“baring greedy teeth,
slobbering success in numbers” …..this is not reason……..
Reason would be horrified by the following of ‘the first
strong voice of unreason”..? yes? no?
Reason has been hid beneath the rug and no one is paying
any attention that it has vanished and been overpowered
by fear.
“…….and the following grows.

Afraid;
we congregate,
allured to the heat of the crowd,
and find ourselves growling,
armed…with mob intentions.” Love most of this stanza.

(captured by, beguiled by, mesmerized by, enthralled..hmm…
not sure I like allured) Just..typing out loud…lol

“Repetition of History
Kill the Enemy
Motivated Murder

... when will we learn?”

There is no doubt, the message is good. But, as long as there
is diversity among men, the cycle, I believe, will always continue.
It is a shame too, because diversity is good. It WOULD be boring
if we were all the same.

Always,
Tonya

p.s. you can argue and defend yourself! lol

Ain't it great to be home !

I can say something and it don't have to sound phoney,
I can say it like I mean it ... oooops, now there's some
improper grammar, lol.

First of all let me thank you for your critique and for pointing
out where the piece wasn't clear. You are so right, what I was
going for was to show the unreasonable's reasons .... it isn't
clear is it ... hmmm, I'll need to look at that, the logic isn't quite
sound.

I totally agree with you about the word "allured" ... I'm gonna
have to find something stronger there.

Thank you Tonya !!!!

author comment

Even though we found things we absolutely disagreeded with there...we did learn something.
I really like the idea and love most of the poem. Just the few little places i mentioned. And it is only my opinion. Not everyone will agree me thinks. (oops.. lol, bad grammer there too! heehee...wouldn't we be in trouble?!!?)

I am not a war monger..in fact I hate it. Me of all people should hate it the most since one of my sons is close to it right now. But, I do feel sometimes we have to stand up for what is right. The alternatives of negotiation does not always work...so how to settle the dilemas without fighting? Wish I knew.
Many will disagree with my view here too, and that is okay. Again, there is diversity. Such a wide range of ideologies that keep this world very interesting.

You're a great poet Richard.
Always,
Tonya

p.s.it is GOOD to be home here at Neo. :)

demos (the mob) and cratos (the rule) But yes... there is a dark side to the social nature of humanity. Wars and conflict are legalised lynchings.... point in fact are the two Koreas just this past week.... we may never learn it seems. Here is the poet's clarion call in respect to social responsibility. And many a poet has thrown it all into that blaring bugle sound. I may have gone out of the range of this poem at some point or other, but let's just say that is just the reader in me responding to a solid and evocative poem. Thanks for sharing Richard. Cheers, Freds

__________________________________________________
'Break, break break on thy cold grey stones, O Sea.'

Hi Richard,

History bares its fangs all too often, we forget.

I'm always amazed at the duality of life, "when two or more are gathered in my name". It could be in life-long celebration, in prayers of Thanksgiving, not just setting aside one day.

~A

p.s. I've given up looking for another poetry site that offers" a family of poets*.

We'll learn when we choose love over fear :)
Good to read you moonman, I see you pack as much punch as ever! much ove Beki xxx

'God turns you from one feeling to another
and teaches by means of opposites,
so that you will have two wings to fly,
not one.' (...Rumi)

Reason has no reason for existing, logic therefore to some is a mystery when they perpetrate against others, but humans can be pathetic creatures when you look back through history. This is a poem that gives food for thought.

Chez
"The perfect woman perpetrates literature as she does a small sin: as an experiment, in passing, to see if anybody notices it - and to makes sure that somebody does." - Nietzsche

That is a dream,
and all the pipes it goes down.
it's sad but true

LIFE ISN'T ABOUT WAITING FOR THE STORM TO PASS
IT'S ABOUT LEARNING HOW TO DANCE IN THE RAIN.
VIVIAN GREENE

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