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your last breath
shes gone
what the fuck
how do you know
nurses they know everything
even if they are your sisters
dad layed on top of you
dont leave me
but you did
and now the emptiness
of having no mom
swallows me down
into a batter of despair

Review Request (Intensity): 
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Editing stage: 


welcome back. I think this displays well the anguish of losing one's mother. But it's almost impossible to really describe the event even if you've been through it............stan

Thank you, I appreciate you reading it.


author comment

Your second piece in so many years, these losses are usually portrayed in the withdrawal of all thoughts as if it never happened, but we know that it is the way after the wailing stops, it is a time never forgotten and we all have to attend.
Your first poem two years ago received three good reviews but you didn't answer.
I hope you are going to join in with us here in reviews and replies.
Look forward to more of your first piece type of writing,
Take care, Yours Ian

Give critique to help keep Neopoet great.
Unconditional love to you all.
"Learn to love yourself first"
Yours as always, Ian.T, Sparrow, and Yenti

Thank you. I lost some poems on this site when things changed. I am not sure how to find them.
I come here to release some pain and then do not return. I will be more responsive to peoples comments.


author comment
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