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MISCHIEVOUS

Look who just stepped from the woods
the terror of the neighborhood.
Eight years old if he's a day
parents give him the last say

All the neighbor's kids beware
he pinches noses, pulls on hair.
Disagree? He'll give you a kick
his parents just don't give a lick
(He's not bad, he's just mischievous)

That song bird had best look out
his sling shot really packs a clout.
Misses the bird but not by far,
put a ding in nearby car
(He's not bad, he's just mischievous)

New painted fence across the street
he takes a stick, gives it a beat
clickety,clickety. clickety, clack!
back and forth and forth and back.
(he's not bad he's just mischievous)

Neighbor's cat goes walking by
he kicks it, I don't know why.
Cat will now have some sore ribs
caused by this monster wearing bibs.
(He's not bad he's just mischievous)

Well LOOK! A great big fire ant mound!
The first he's seen (he's from a big town)
Gives it a kick then just stands there.
I'd warn him but I just don't care.
( He's not bad he's just mischievous)

He takes a step then starts to race
look of surprise upon his face
crying as loudly as he can
his match just found by little man
(Who's not bad he's just mischievous)

I sit and watch him round the bend
searching for his torment's end
and from somewhere deep within
on my face appears a great big grin
(Those ants aren't bad they're just mischievous!)

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words: 
an very oldie brought back from the site crash
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

I think the line that goes "He give kick" should be: He'll give a kick. I'm not sure that I care for the lines of: [crying loudly as he can, his match just found by little man] by trying to "humanize" the ants, so that the lines rhyme.
Otherwise, good work and good for the little mischief-maker! ~ Geez.
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There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

This is one of my earliest poems from before the site crash. The kick snafu is a typo . It has been corrected. Now the other 2 lines leave me divided. Should I leave this poem as is to display any progress I've made as a poet or go ahead and try to put any improvements in place? decision,decisions lol

author comment

maybe, [if you feel it would be helpful] make the improvements and note them in the comments section.~ ~ Geez.
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There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

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