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Mindless
I reminisce to only think never this
The loneliness
Accompanied by the moans and whisps
Of revenge sexing me
A drinking binge investment treats
Every wound. Frees
The thoughts of feeling doomed, weak
Spineless. Unkindness
Reveals every moment to be timeless
And a man prone to be mindless
Style / type:
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage:
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Comments
Frenchf
Sat, 2013-02-16 14:28
Short and pithy
Captured a vision