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Midnight Ragtime

Submitted by fink555 on Sat, 2017-07-22 23:10

Kissing the river is a blessing.

The river knows our dreams

root in chloroform,

and that only fools

never
say
die

A piano spell rings

The river has no rings bejeweled

Kissing the river is the only sacrament

that requires full lung capacity,

and a taste for dreamtime.

A piano spell rings

I’d tell you more,

but inside,

the dogs are

going crazy.

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Comments

riotface97

Sun, 2017-07-23 05:13

riotface97's picture
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Hi Fink555,

I found this piece to be really refreshing. I'm guilty of having composed a fair amount of flowery, trite crap myself in the past and I really liked how you avoided this with that seemingly personal, unique touch evident in the persona. In that vein, I'd re-work the "only fools never say die" section as it seemed to detract from that a little. Was fond of the ending as well. The whole thing just has this character to it that I find quite alluring. Thanks for the read, and I'll definitely keep an eye out on the stream for your future poetry.

Nicholas.

fink555

Sun, 2017-07-23 13:16

fink555's picture

Nicholas

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