i missed it last time and
i enjoyed this very much
love judy
xxxx

I am glad you reposted this as it must have been before my arrival here. A beautiful write on love's filtering effect.......scribbler

Oh SO BEAUTIFUL, so beautiful, so beautiful......

Ann with love.

Jim,

it is a shame we are missing some quality poems from the old Neo. I had many saved in my bookmarks and returned frequently to re-read them and enjoy them again. This was on my bookmarked list and now I have it back...I have no problem with old poems being submitted...especially if they are of such quality as this one.

regards,

HS

Any tribute to womanhood is welcome to me. I certainly would not like their role in life yet they accept without complaint. It reminded me of Sandy Posey's song I was born a woman.

I really enjoy the idea and development of the poem. It's a work that resonates with a good vibe.
A gracious love of the physical changes of childbirth. Beautiful images.

When I read it aloud to myself, which is the way I read poetry, (i don't read prose that way), I tend to pause at the end of every line, even it's a single word, like "then". When I do that the poem doesn't work for me rhythmically. it's like this:

against your evening skin PAUSE
that you, PAUSE
embarrassed, PAUSE
have always tried PAUSE
to hide PAUSE
from me. PAUSE

For me the meter becomes awkward, not natural. The lines throughout the poem shift from one syllable to 3 or 4, and has a chromatic scale sound. So I re-read the poem, creating my own meter,
and it becomes more enjoyable, and flows for me.
There are no doubt many ways to read a poem, but the line itself has to be the clue of the poet's intent. I think there has to be a reason you are constructing the poem in this way, to break down the words presented in this form.
In music you have to fill in each "bar" with the correct number of beats in that time signature. The metronome may be counting but you fill in the bar anyway you want, in the beat or syncopated off the beat, or add stops or pauses or eight notes.. That's kind of the same idea with traditional poetry, like a sonnet, with specific meter demands. That is also the same with slam poetry, very carefully constructed to meter.
If you could read your poem on sound cloud I'd love to hear what you had in mind.

another example;

tracing and remembering PAUSE
in their taste and touch PAUSE
I cannot be lost PAUSE
in loneliness PAUSE

I ended up reading it:

tracing PAUSE
and remembering PAUSE
in their taste PAUSE
and touch PAUSE
I cannot PAUSE
be lost PAUSE
in loneliness

I kinda created a 3 beat 2 beat meter.

This whole question of form and meter is a difficult one in modern poetry, but I think it's good to question it and define how we want a poem to sound. This is a fine poem, but without changing a word I read it in a different way than it is presented. I think the poet should be in command there, and compose the poem so it reads within the parameters as they meant it. The composer calls the shots, not the musician interpreter.

I hope you will consider these comments in the spirit they were written, to help us understand the nuances of this difficult art we struggle with.

but beautiful. I am glad to see poets here reposting some of their best and favorite works. I was able to read a number of Stan's that I had missed and glad I saw this one. It is truth.

I also pull up some of my old stuff and it always makes me a bit sad to see responses to folks no longer here......stan

that when a poem is read it is not the poet that is being judged, but the reader.