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M*AN*T*I*L

serenade
an ocean of depth
a cold so high
the curve is seen
the stark blue cleft
twixt heaven and here

the tiny crystalline
fortunes fall
weaving minuet
forecast in this silent
hall

blaze night lamps
shine your quiet gaze
your gauzy hot chimney
vents

slumber in quilts
fortunate dreams
stirring rem waltzes
quartet conversation

beneath your harsh
starry gaze
we plan
visions
and quests
wrapped in our
skins of selves
come daybreak

..

Editing stage: 

Comments

An exquisite piece of poetry. Regards Roscoe..

Roscoe Llane,

Religion will rip your faith off, and return
for the mask of disbelief that's left.

I must be warming up to your way with words as I do believe I understand what this poem is about! Dare I say? To me, it speaks of people semi-sleeping beneath warm covers in winter, and dreaming of their next endeavors. Please don't burst my bubble and tell me how f***ing wrong I am! LOL!!

I am either left in awe or sometimes a bit disappointed but never able to explain exactly why. This one was not disappointing.

For some reason I have visions of selkies from this one.

Perhaps a reading might help you hear it though my ears. Just loving this Vocaroo thing!

http://vocaroo.com/i/s0tL00dM86oQ

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

beautifully expressed I can only ... sigh

nothing else comes to mind

thanks as always for sharing your vision

love JC xxx

("Always and Forever") - (Never lose a holy curiosity.-Albert Einstein)

i used to read great poetry and sigh
realizing that all that was published
like fine leather worked and dyed
stitched and paterned

because i never got a trade or skill
speak only english and never worshipped
money but spend it lavish
i love second hand nice shoes
and old leather jackets
the weight is what i like
of the shoes and coat
rather then lightness

polished poetry is sweet
like refined sugar
but there is something
about the raw stalk of cane
words to much on
the fellow crafters we have
come to know over time
the harsh growing system
competing for sunshine
nutrients

i so enjoyed writing from a typewriter
the few people whom read and
wrote ....electronic is the way to go
for speed or retrieval
immortality unless i should decide
to delete this if i kick the bucket
i like that we have the options here
that we monitor is as we do with
the freedonm that only America provides
and for me Gods gift of gab...

thanks for the comments on this
we used to write these on the bottom
of the paper poems
some horrible and some wonderful
thats life...

sometimes it rains on your picnic
like life does....(am i learning)

and to pick it up.
suck it up buttercup
etc

the poems have everything
to do with whats going on in
my world.....

i have been ugly and nasty
these are just the darkly
affected beauty of all that

my redemption
attempts..

thank you

author comment

In ugliness there hides a beauty
It only seeks out our reality
Yet we dwell in dream times
Here came visions of Ionised gasses
Flowing in ribbons across Northern skies
Then the sleep came with it the REM
Where are we in this painting
Are we shedding light on those that can rest
Are we irritating those that are restless.
I am snuggly here, do not disturb me
You know the dreams will fly away
Stay here in this enormous space
It is so small that we have to change
There in the glitter of an eye
We shrink and close into one
Dawn will arrest our frantic ways.

Go well young Wolf, a Grand write again,
Yours Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

fifties tube technology but we have
"weather doppler radar now" a line abreast across the country..
im sure they keep an eye on weather amongst other items..
mantil is the veil..the vague of unkowns
and knowns seen with experience or intuition
and held by protocol or instinct at times..

thus is the world..
and its ways...

and my small ponderances in the day..

thank you!

author comment

I liked your poem and also the way you have responded in poetic verses..which makes me believe that you breathe poetry...pleasure to read these..and a learning experience for an amateur like me.,..

raj (sublime_ocean)

i am so clumsy when i speak in ordinary talk
losing and rambling
but in poetry land
as a poet persona i can
write an abstract sense
which is a ramble but
a sometimes beautiful
essence

i am a novice
non publishing
sharing it here
and another site
this will last
longer then a book
and means more
to me

thank you

author comment
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