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Low Setting Sun

I see them everywhere, now.
Sometimes they are long -
stretched out over tired grass
scattered with yellow leaves
from trees too eager to flirt
with the arousing Fall.
They rest as if freshly mowed,
tenderly mulched into the earth
like potpourri in a delicate drawer -
keepsakes, memories,
soft scents of a summer
almost forgotten behind
the low setting sun.
I lie down within the shade
of the tallest oak
and feel the hours gently
pass until the sun
sets no more.


Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content


Aw... very kind, Teddy! It's been a bit hit or miss for me - I am with one of my granddaughters during most the day, e-learning - virtual school, while her parents are off to work. I've started to notice the length of shadows as we get closer to Fall. Trying to stretch out every moment! Pretty fantastic time of year. Thank you for stopping by, Teddy!

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that if you eat paint and taste colors i can weigh -15 pounds?

I did not, but I do now!
Thanks for dropping in.

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There is nothing, in my opinion. You are correct! Looking forward to many more lovely sunsets!
Thank you, Jerry, so much!

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your poem has such a delicate quality to it. Lovely writing


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Thank you for your lovely comment!

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The sun light changes and shadows along with it and memories of feelings flood in.
Great to see you,

If you take the time to read a poem then take the time to let the author know you were there. Study it and form an opinion as well, even if it means going back to it more than once. That is basic critique, what Neopoet is all about.

There is something very serene about the sun this time of year - refreshing, yet calming.
Thank you for reading, Mark!

author comment

The first time I read this, I was struck by the quiet air
about it, a delicate, sweet melancholic air. I've read this a number
of times now, and liked it more each time.
As I delved deeper, your words conjured
the images. This is lovely, and I like the flows.

The only critique I can offer after a number of reads and thoughts, is that
I think it could afford to lose a couple of words here and there,
and not lose the tone at all...a few tiny tweaks
in a couple of places. Less is more, is my mind when reading
with a critical personal preference. It's lovely as it is.

This..."Shadows", plural. Yet then, "A keepsake, a memory", singular. ?
The shadows are the keepsake, the memory, yes? Unless I'm reading incorrectly,
shouldn't both keepsake and memory, be plural then?
"Keepsakes, memories
soft scents of a summer..."

A lovely poem, written with a tender hand. Evocative, is the word that
comes to mind. You took me there.

Thank you for spending so much time here. Much appreciated! I am also pretty fond of using fewer words, so I will take another look and scrape off anything that seems unnecessary. So the plural / singular point is valid - I am not certain if the reference is actually the potpourri or the shadows. Will ponder that over, too.
Again, thank you for spending time and sharing your thoughts!

author comment

Changed to plural - thanks so much for the wonderful suggestion.

author comment
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