Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

Loving Thee Endlessly

Should my eyes be found guilty
Of thy beauty they behold?
Or should siege be laid to my mind
For its sweet riot for thy comely looks?

If my tongue lays quiet still,
Will a charge be brought upon it
For praises upon thy unbidden essence
It lavishes, though silently?

O my sweet lady,
In earnest I seek a thing to you compare,
None more dazzling than the flames of thy hazel eyes,
Nor anything finer a contrast to pearl than thy ruby lips.

Thy presence a far greater light to my heart
Than a million rays of the sun to my eyes.
At thy voice, my fears melt, yet
Ever softer than a thousand tunes of sweet melodies.

Thy pleasant ways I overstate so hardly;
For I shall isolate rather in a valley
Where loving thee endlessly my occupation shall be
Than dwell on a mountaintop without loving thee so softly.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

I am so glad you like it. And to all the beautiful, loving ladies out there I dedicate this poem. Thanks Teddy.

Bathe yourself with poetry and let the world go to pieces.

author comment

The woman who receives this poem, should count herself lucky!
However, I would delete the word [more] in the line: "Nor ever anything finer a contrast to pearl than thy ruby lips."
And in the line: "Ever softer than a thousand [notes] of sweet melodies" Of course, as always the poem is yours and do what you like with my suggestions ~ Geez.
.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

I appreciate your remarks.

Bathe yourself with poetry and let the world go to pieces.

author comment

Hi, Chima,
So romantic and beautiful, but also revealing and vulnerable. "Thy presence a greater light to my heart, than a million rays of sun to my eyes." So wonderful! You are quite the romantic poet!
(In reading, I wonder, for me it doesn't feel proper to say "more finer" and "more softer" - I tripped on those combinations a bit.)
Thank you!
L

Thank you very much.

Bathe yourself with poetry and let the world go to pieces.

author comment
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.