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FOR LOVED YOU ASKED FOR IT! SHINING

Submitted by Eduardo Cruz on Fri, 2010-12-17 04:45

The heavens are filled
With despair
For one star has made
Them aware
That none in the sky
Can shine so bright
As the light you provide

The stars up above
Are so jealous
Because you walk about
Like in heaven
With beautiful dove like feathers
Stealing all the glory
From all constellations

For the patterns you form
You ink down on parchment
Creating more beauty
Then all the specks
In the fabric of heaven
Your brightness persist
Despite their harassments

So shine on earthbound star
Because those with their
Nose in the air
Can never illuminate
Or can they bear
That you project more light
Than those way up there

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words: 
loved, I do not do poems on request, but I figured I'd give it a shot. So this is my first and last time. So enjoy your poem.
Editing stage: 
Editing - polished draft

Comments

loved

Fri, 2010-12-17 09:31

loved's picture

Which new Loved?
Are you talking about?
Has some one found my twin?
Oh pray tell me
From where to begin

The love in your eyes
I hope does smear
In other’s eyes at least
A small tear

If this poem twere meant for me,
A loving kiss
Upon thy forehead,
I shall plant for thee,

For to admire a contemporary
Poet and friend
Only can be from heaven sent
If you have come from there
I shall bow to thee
Shall come over
Wherever you may be

Till then just hold my hand,
As I wipe my tear,
Don’t worry I’d come along
Had you been
Some where very near

loved

Eduardo Cruz

Fri, 2010-12-17 10:46

Eduardo Cruz's picture

it twas created for thee
and all though thou knowest
my heart is anothers
I wrote out of love
for thy verses thou
createths

sorry just had to write this
sweetie
always Eddie
PS. I have to say, I had fun doing it!

LIFE ISN'T ABOUT WAITING FOR THE STORM TO PASS
IT'S ABOUT LEARNING HOW TO DANCE IN THE RAIN.
VIVIAN GREENE

author comment

Eduardo Cruz

Fri, 2010-12-17 10:54

Eduardo Cruz's picture

loved ask me on one of my poem to write her a poem and make her a star.
so I did. I've never done poems on request, just eulogies.
I guess not to shabbie, at all Huh?
if you see another in there please feel free to run with it.
One day I'll write one for you, you did write one for me!
thanks, I'm glad you enjoy this entertaining side step of mine!
Always Eddie

LIFE ISN'T ABOUT WAITING FOR THE STORM TO PASS
IT'S ABOUT LEARNING HOW TO DANCE IN THE RAIN.
VIVIAN GREENE

author comment

loved

Fri, 2010-12-17 13:49

loved's picture

I don't know
Perhaps, some day,
Some one may,
Write an obituary
As I’m gone eternally

Perhaps none
Shall have that much time
So you see...
To compensate anyone
Especially you,
In my Will
I shall make payments
Out of sheer greed,
As some has as much as
Remembered me

Oh what of eulogy you say?
None would as much as
Spare a moment
To wipe a tear
But still I thank thee
Hopefully
Perhaps you may write
Both together

Payments in advance
I shall make to thee,
Nothing in this blessed life
Ever comes at all for free.

loved

Eduardo Cruz

Fri, 2010-12-17 16:01

Eduardo Cruz's picture

no payment is due
if I am still here
when your eulogies
the words I will write
will cause all
to think your alive

so do not fret
what we await waits
but for present
let's stay in the now
and relieve ourselfs
of our burdens
and weights

always Eddie

LIFE ISN'T ABOUT WAITING FOR THE STORM TO PASS
IT'S ABOUT LEARNING HOW TO DANCE IN THE RAIN.
VIVIAN GREENE

author comment

loved

Fri, 2010-12-17 19:31

loved's picture

obituary

IN LINE THREE
THEN ONLY THE
OTHER LINES
WILL AGREE,

as eulogies
R written when
ONE is normally alive

at least so I thought
wait let me go visit
a dictionary
None the less
thanks friend to thee

loved

Eduardo Cruz

Sat, 2010-12-18 00:25

Eduardo Cruz's picture

why can't you just let things be, your going to the wrong place with me so read and always speak with words of truth and knowledge to me. because one thing I do know are words
EULOGY;.
(1. spoken or written tribute: a speech or piece of writing that praises somebody or something very highly, especially a tribute to somebody wholy has recently died)
enough now. I just try to do something nice. but I can't go to the dark, but I will if I must, because to tell you the truth that is my home. So except nice for nice and not turn it to something dark
.
Eddie

LIFE ISN'T ABOUT WAITING FOR THE STORM TO PASS
IT'S ABOUT LEARNING HOW TO DANCE IN THE RAIN.
VIVIAN GREENE

author comment

ziggy

Fri, 2010-12-17 15:04

hi, " your brightness persist(s)
despite their harrasments " I love that line and the way this sounds to me
where you say " that you project more light
then those way up there " the word " then " maybe a typo I was thinking ,( than) those way up there " I saw your cooments on hooded strangers poem and came to read you , I like it indeed,,,,,,zigs

I salute anyone who breaks the rules in the interest of art and great poetry writing just as much as I admire poets who craft meter and verse within the confines of good grammar. Walk the tight rope or jump from it and see if you can fly.

Eduardo Cruz

Fri, 2010-12-17 16:09

Eduardo Cruz's picture

What "then", does thou speakth,
just kidding I made the correction, it's not a typo it's run away finger that think they can write.
thanks for the eagle eye, I do appreciate a careful read. It mean your paying attention. To me that's a compliment.
thanks for coming to my place and sharing your thoughts!
Always Eddie

LIFE ISN'T ABOUT WAITING FOR THE STORM TO PASS
IT'S ABOUT LEARNING HOW TO DANCE IN THE RAIN.
VIVIAN GREENE

author comment
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