Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

Love Your Head

i smell the shampoo
in your hair
i feel the ridge
you've had
on your skull
since you were a kid
something you're
self-conscious about
you joke about
shaving your head
but you worry about
how it would look
what people
would think
either way, i say
i would still
give you
kisses on the head

Review Request (Intensity): 
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Editing stage: 


Good poem.
Unique wording of a ubiqutious feeling .
Everyone can relate to.
Not sure about the name.
Flow and composition is good and balanced.
Maybe instead of either way you want to say something more affectionate?
Maybe you would love to kiss the soft bristle of the shaven head embracing all the goofiness, cutness and smells?


thanks, iriz. I agree, the title was a bit sterile for the content of the poem. made a change!

author comment

My pleasure


At first glance I was taken a back. Breathless is the only word I can come up with. Brilliance with a taste of salt in your mouth. The moving of words. Further halfway down was incredible to this magnificent piece. Lastly I will savor every word that was written in this simplistic piece.

Mario Vitale

thanks, chevyvent!

author comment

a good pep up poem greg to turn a blemish into a hallmark...the very fact you have chosen to write about it shows your sensitivity to life around you...

i think you can delete the you in "but you worry about"

raj (sublime_ocean)

(c) No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.