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The Long Wait

Staring at the clock on the wall,
time stretched to an eternity.
I tapped my feet against the floor
until another's stare stopped me.
A quick apology ignored,
I looked away,still assaulted
by my own anxiety.

As I sat there, my mind drifted
to the owed bills and rental fees,
to a sickly mother in need.
I cast aside my own self-doubts
and I told myself, "This is it."
I needed this job so badly
for me and my family

I left my seat and walked around,
hoping to ease my restless mind,
then the woman at the counter
called my name, ending the waiting time...
I nodded, muttered a "Thank you"
before I entered the room
for the job interview..

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage: 

Comments

Life's worries stress us out at some time in our journey,
on job interviews it is our attitude that will win 60% of the job, the rest is how we integrate with others in the field we are trying for.
Take any field of life, If you put a poppy in the middle of a cornfield it will stand out, yet, will it enhance the field, or is it in the wrong place??
That you carry your bills and Mother with you is not good for your interview, but to ask the bills and your Mother to just wait at home for a while, while you are interviewed this will only be an asset, and free your mind to deal with all you meet.
I hope you got the job young traveller, my thoughts go out to you as always, Yours, Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

This is actually a past experience and I put it into writing to practice the use of correct tense and input some of what I've learnt from Stan's workshop. I did get the job Ian but it didn't last. Got cheated of my pay and compensation for my injury. My employer is now serving time after I have made a complaint to the manpower department.

Alid

author comment

it drew me to your person, i think you as a gentleman and in Nigeria job getting is worse, so be a poet it pays more than all the rubies doth ascertain, but i hope you get this job on the side though

thanks for the visit and the comments. I do strive to be as much as a gentleman that I can, though at times my temper get the better of me....

Alid

author comment

A nice one which created the mood of anxiety pretty well...Looking at the title I first thought it was about the long wait till the Neopoet Server got going again :)

Regards,

raj (sublime_ocean)

A nice one which created the mood of anxiety pretty well...Looking at the title I first thought it was about the long wait till the Neopoet Server got going again :)

Regards,

raj (sublime_ocean)

glad you like it. Thanks for the visit.

Alid

author comment

It was good to see you maintained the same tense throughout. I think this poem is very accurate in the portrayal of a person waiting for an interview. One thing to give a bit more thought to is "troubled mind".....this IS an accurate description and might even be the best description but give it a bit more thought and see if you can come up with something different that still conveys what you want. Now as to the rhymes and near rhymes. Good job. I find myself unable to use near rhyme so I'm a bit envious of those who do. Last stanza line 4... for some reason I expected to have an end line rhyme or near rhyme with "mind". Maybe something about the time of waiting now behind. The poem is a good one for these times when far too many are chasing far too few jobs.........stan

will disheveled thoughts or distraught mind be a good substitution for troubled mind? I'm not sure which is the best but since at that time I was worried, I choose"restless mind" and I have also edited the last stanza's line 4 as you have suggested.

Alid

author comment

Another well crafted piece. I wish that the interview went as well as you have put your words here. You difenetely deserve the best of the best...
Sorry if I came late to this, but as they say better late than never.
be well.

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

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