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Lone Birthday Boy Dancing

Yesterday for my birthday,
I started off
with a bottle of wine...
I took the train
into town...
I had half a bitter
at the Café de Piaf
in Waterloo...
I went to work
for a couple of hours or so;
I had a pint after work;
I went for an audition;
after the audition,
I had another pint
and a half;
I had another half,
before meeting my mates,
for my b’day celebrations;
we had a pint together;
we went into
the night club,
where we had champagne
(I had three glasses);
I had a further
glass of vino,
by which time,
I was so gone
that I drew an audience
of about thirty
by performing a solo
dancing spot
in the middle
of the disco floor...
We all piled off to the pub
after that,
where I had another drink
(I can’t remember
what it was)...
I then made my way home,
took the bus from Surbiton,
but ended up
in the wilds of Surrey;
I took another bus home,
and watched some telly,
and had something to eat
before crashing out...
I really, really enjoyed
the eve, but today,
I’ve been walking around
like a zomb;
I’ve had only one drink today,
an early morning
restorative effort;
I spent the day working,
then I went to a bookshop,
where, like a monk,
I go for a day’s
drying out session...
Drying out is really awful;
you jump at every shadow;
you feel dizzy,
you notice everything;
very often,
I don’t follow through

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words: 
'Lone Birthday Boy Dancing' was almost certainly drafted as a makeshift journal entry on 8 October 1992, or perhaps a year earlier, before being very roughly versified many years later, even while its authenticity prevails.
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content


the transition state of where you were and where you ended up gives me a head ache and so many memories, you too stayed at the Hangover Hilton! Your day doesnt really sound dissimilar to my own in that period of 1992.

My birthday is the same day as John lennon! in 1992 i was more than likely in a great pub called the swan on Stockwell road, most weekends, those were the days, it was a one off period in my life, i had so much fun.

you seem to bring back my memories in some way every time i read your work. Sir, i would go as far today to say that a change of title wouldnt be a bad thing, the one that came to my mind is simply (Birthday Boy) this is just my opinion so please feel free to pass it by. I love your biography of your special day. and the imagery of waterloo and so on, i should tell you i live in Florence Italy and i have been here for 20 years, so i guess finding someone at neopoet that i can relate too through words makes me feel so chuffed inside. It's like you are me, only the male version. I have never been for an audition though, thats heavy and also exciting oh so many emotions in your chioce of job.

Thank you...Teddy

That is so amazing to hear, you were born on the same day as one of my great idols of all time, John Lennon, always my favourite Beatle, and yes his birthday I could never forget, 9 October. As this piece of verse makes clear, my birthday falls on the 7th, just two days before. I am so pleased my verse strikes such a chord with you. I am honoured to be the male version of you. I too had an incredibly wonderful time, but it all ended far too soon, a short time after this piece was written, in 1993, simply there was no choice. I had to rebuild from there. The change of title is a possibility, 'Birthday Boy' perhaps, I'll have to think about it, the title as is is a bit odd perhaps, I think it was formerly called 'The Birthday Boy's Last Dance', which may be better. I am so pleased you like this ecstatic voyage into well possible oblivion...bye for now. Carl.

author comment

Yes oblivion, opens up another deep discussion, I myself have witnessed friends and family in that way, I guess I was one of the lucky ones, when I was 28 I went off to have a new adventure and I've been here ever since. London is a dangerous place and yet filled with beauty. Where I live is a very small town people often ask why are you here? But in London I never felt I was home. It was a city full of lights and action yet cold. Anyway Oblivion could also work in a new title if you do decide to change it. Have a great weekend Sir. Some might think my words for London a bit harsh but as I was born there and lived my life there I think my right to be honest for my self is ok. I don't speak for anyone else.

And moreover unfortunately society excepted this type behaviour myself and my friends had many nights like this in the Twickenham Area before we all settled down. But when you put your words like you have in a poem, it brings it to life. It was the norm, I would never had looked at someone in a pub not even outside or on the tube and think (oh their drunk)
I chose to change my life in 2001 because I was a young lady more or less alone and i believed I diserved more from my life. Thanks Carl your poetry has a way of bringing me to discussion.

Thank you...Teddy

It's amazing, because I have another piece called 'Oblivion in Recession', which details events not too far along the road from those here (I will post that next). I guess I'll keep the title 'Lone Birthday Boy Dancing' because I like long titles, it's perhaps not great, but it's the verse that counts. I know the Twickenham area very well (it's not far from where I am now), and had not a few fun-filled nights there myself. I 'cleaned up' aged 37, and have been more or less so ever since, although I would say I have never been the same, it marked me very badly, permanently I would say, I am not a good advertisement for wasted youth. I'm pleased you changed your life and that it has worked well for you, and also very pleased my verse brings you to discussion. Bye for now. Carl.

author comment

so yes, but it really wasnt unusual in that period for people to find it abnormal to enjoy ones self, now of course i'm a bit older and if anyone saw anyone having too much fun on the street or indeed in a bar it would be frowned upon, but i always say to people that old line, oh you can take the girl out of london but you could never take the london out of the girl! RIGHT??? i'm the bridget jones of my town. and proud to be. i'll leave you in peace, i suspected you wouldn't budge with your title, not because i think you are snooty but i know how damn important your work is to you, but never say never. maybe one day you may see through different eyes. Take care my friend, i miss london with all my heart. Im glad you changed your life, but dont be too hard on your self.

Thank you...Teddy

Teddy, I might, truly. If you don't like it, I respect your opinion more than you might know. yes, it's true, my pieces do mean a lot, but if I was honest, it's only fairly recently I have started to write verse. I love responses to it, and of all the responses I have ever received, yours have been in the realm of the truly extraordinary. If you dislike the title, there is a reason. I don't about 'Jump at Every Shadow', 'At Every Shadow'? 'The Wilds of Surrey' Anything...truly I am not bothered about this title, and am open to changing it any second. Bye for now. Carl.

author comment

My view of your title is that I think it could bring much more to the poem. That is just an opinion from me, this is a workshop as you know, we need to air our views. But you should never ever change anything unless you agree with it. This is your work and you own it along with the title you choose. Ok I think maybe wait to see what a few other readers might say I would be so interested to hear what geezer says if he comes along. My views as a women might be different to a male reader. I shall wait but remember if you are sure you are happy with it then leave as is.

Some inspiration?

Oblivious shadow
Cobbled streets and vino
Shadow and me

Let's sit back and see what others may say

Thank you...Teddy not bad, Teddy, I kinda like that one, ok, I'll leave it to incubate a while, and see what comes of it...bye. Carl.

author comment

Shadow and me, it's deep within what's going on in the poem.
I liked that most too. Ok come back to see if it could work for now let it rest there's never a rush. I'm the title pusher lol have a great Friday evening sir, take care in London.

Thank you...Teddy

is good by me, Teddy, or anything else, you have been very kind and loyal re. my verses, I'll remember you to London!

author comment

Thank you Sir, any time I could ever help make something better in your work I wouldn't hesitate. You have much more experience and I'm also learning so much from you.

Thank you...Teddy

...learn fast from all that rich life experience, dear Teddy, because soon, very soon, these verses will run out here...there are only a few of them.

author comment
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