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Logical What's

I once knew a man,
from distant lands,
he crossed ocean of fear,
in wonder of there and here,
he was impatient, he didn't like when and then,
but he preferred when,
when it came to how,
he worked hard, he wanted it now,
well father Time showed him who's boss,
he gave him T's to cross,
and i's to dot,
who would have thought,
how to stop,
he did not stop,
everywhere there were spots of dots,
as the T's became cross,
you see the T's wanted to be i's,
but didn't realize,
it wouldn't be wise,
to have dots on eyes.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Last few words: 
Results of cabin fever in the middle of a long harsh winter.
Editing stage: 

Comments

In my opinion the poem is good ideologically but has a lot of abstract to understand the underlying philosophy. It made me think for sure..

Regards...

raj (sublime_ocean)

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