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The Little One

He walks and runs and teeters sometimes,
He laughs and babbles and occasionally whines.
With solomn look he labors to lift
An oversized toy that's often soon left
For the prize of a cookie or a big blue ball
Or a medium sized dog or a mommy's call.
He crawls and climbs under tables and chairs,
Over cars and blocks and up the stairs.
Forever moving 'til sleep takes hold
Of our beautiful, funny one year old.
Mama takes him and handles with care,
The boy we love, the boy so fair.
He's a tough little kid with a laugh and a smile
And asleep he's an angel, at least for a while.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage: 

Comments

I have many nieces, nephews and grandchildren and always love to see them lauded and loved. I like your use of rhyme and your presentation is well thought out and it flows pretty smoothly. Your use of language is great and I followed the story well all the way from beginning to end. ~ Geezer.
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There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

Love children especially at the age when they're exploring the great big world of a child. Love your poem because I see my children and grandchildren in there. Regards Roscoe...

Roscoe Llane,

Religion will rip your faith off, and return
for the mask of disbelief that's left.

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