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Leaving The Stage

Stop the music!
I've grown weary of this dance.
The end is long overdue
It has shed all its fun

Sweet-honeyed lies,
fake whispers of affection
I bid all of them goodbye.
to focus my attention

I take a bow
Let the hypocrites mingle
I'm walking away now
to be free from their world

Let them have the stage
I refuse to dance again.
The rhythm of heartbreaks
only drives me insane.

I leave the stage
to embrace life
with wings of hope
to help me fly

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Editing stage: 


the stage just yet! I have a suggestion or two.

1] [The] end is long overdue
2] It has shed all it's fun
3] Leave the ess off from affection
4] I take a bow
5] let the hypocrites mingle
Feel free to use any and all of these, or not.

~ Gee

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for the visit and the suggestions. I've made the necessary changes. ;D


author comment

never run away
don't dance
but u may leave the stage
as they all dance merrily away

You may stay away
Ur wish.....


i won't stay away
i'm just going to watch them
waste their time away
while sensibility leave them


author comment

You are a poet, there can be no doubt, potentially a great one. Can you spot the flaws?
I can only hope and pray that the reference to Shakespeare's "all the world's a stage" is intentional. Otherwise you have some very serious reading to do, my friend.
Hope this helps,

A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'

I believe I can spot the flaws. It is intentional. Thank you for the visit and the encouraging words, Sir.


author comment

Leaving the arena
Your words of disgust
germinate seeds in my minds eyes,
you want to end all strife,
my seeds have yet to burst.

So if a man's food,
is another’s poison
both will have a different version,
the decision to do what one wants to do
it's up to each one of us including you too..

so don't run,
walk away
but in the larger picture of life do stay
someday, one day
you will remember what I say

don't shun
never run
stay alive for another happier day
now run
but don't shun


especially the 2nd stanza. Good job.


author comment

and also thank you


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