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Lamp (An Exploration of Style- Haiku)

In the far distance
a light leads me to meaning
I follow or not

Editing stage: 

Comments

A Haiku perfectly executed and the questions it brings up are relevant to the original Japanese writing form.
Yours with nothing more to say,
Ian
NB:- My comments or crit are to keep your workshop entries at the top of the stream.
But relevant to their structure..

.
Give critique to help keep Neopoet great.
Unconditional love to you all.
"Learn to love yourself first"
Yours as always, Ian.T, Sparrow, and Yenti

mate

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet is a workshop. Poets take the time to read and think about your work and offer suggestions.
There is no obligation to make any changes however please acknowledge critique and comments.

author comment

Great one Jess
Perfect cutting line - you make it seem so simple...
Love judy
xxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

and instead mastered the shortest forms, haiku and limerick. It is because I am a coward and a control freak. I'm afraid of exposing my dark side. Neopoets think they've seen it? Not half.

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet is a workshop. Poets take the time to read and think about your work and offer suggestions.
There is no obligation to make any changes however please acknowledge critique and comments.

author comment

thing about Haiku is they leave little volume in which to make mistakes. The "syllable" count is either right or it isn't and the message is either there or not. But in this one even the mood is Eastern........stan

though it is not truly haiku or senryu by content.

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet is a workshop. Poets take the time to read and think about your work and offer suggestions.
There is no obligation to make any changes however please acknowledge critique and comments.

author comment

I like this. It flows and feels right.

The rules for haiku have morphed to a degree that, in some cases, even syllable count/sound units are being ignored.

But this hearkens back to the intent of a haiku, in my mind.

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Jonathan Moore

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