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A kubolor in thoughts

Submitted by Kent on Mon, 2017-06-12 10:16

Sometimes i wonder!
If the life we living is what is expected of us,
Sometimes i wonder!
if what is been preached to us,is what is expected of us to follow?
i become so lost in thougth,thinking we've been mis-lead!
If the Holy books conferred unto us,by the Generator f All Diversities (GOD)
has not been tempered with!
Only do i know,we've been fed with Beautiful lies,
Spreading around like a wild fire! aint a dis-believer,
i know the almighty being exist (GOD)
A pure mind does it all!

But i wonder if all this is necessary?

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
How does this theme appeal to you?
Editing stage: 
Not actively editing

Comments

wesley snow

Tue, 2017-06-13 16:24

wesley snow's picture
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Here goes.
Proofread your work. There are numerous typographical errors here.
Make sure that whatever you post is EXACTLY what you want to say.
This includes your critiques. I challenge you to find an error in what I say in these critiques.

Example:
"If the life we living is what is expected of us,"
If the life we (are) living is what is expected of us.

Note the grammatical error.
I leave it to you to find the others.
No, one more.

if what is (has, not is) been preached to us,is what is expected of us to follow?
Your tense is wrong.
Still want to work with me? I am a stinker about some things.

W. H. Snow

A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley

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