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Kin or Jokin

Shit Carothers we are only brothers
Do I have to wipe your stinking ass?
Come on now let go of Mothers plea
I’ll tell you straight what’s wrong with me

I am so sick of your spoilt stupid face
The way you behave is a bloody disgrace
I have spent many wasted years with you
Trying to make it so that you pull through

Come you donkey dropping let me go
I have my own life to lead you know
What of the family ties we have made
They are false and have destroyed my days.

Oh hello bru! have you just made it through
I was thinking of you just now in a loving way
Yes I will meet you in the park later today
Ok! I can lend you a twenty so don't be so blue

Love you my bru, I will get you through..
Bye for now, love you too!

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Last few words: 
I feel a right Crud for writing this, love you all Sparrow xx
Editing stage: 

Comments

A really emotionally charged piece...I sense anger and hostility...unlike you but conveyed well...rhyming was good...a job well done

Keep Writing,
Carrie

"Quoth said the Raven, NEVERMORE"

Just a fun write with NO real person in the frame.
Hence the reference to Crud in the comment at the bottom.
I had three Brothers and four Sisters and I loved them all to bits.
Now I only have one Brother and two Sisters, and still love them to bits.
Our family was known as the kissy Howards lol, Mum and Dad were beautiful souls.
Thanks for your read, I was bored and didn't have anything new to put on line so here it is.
Take care young Lady and lovely to see you settled again,
Yours Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

author comment

All was well for you and your family...glad to hear it...really enjoyed the piece...different for you but a good different...Will message you when not so hectic

Keep Writing,
Carrie

"Quoth said the Raven, NEVERMORE"

As Carrie said, emotionally charged! I sense anger and frustration..I also agree that the rhyming was good.

Thanks for sharing.

Love Mand xxxx

I in the initial bit was thinking how the Brother was such a pain,
then at the end he rang me asking for money.
Just a little fun thing that Sparrow writes sometimes LOL
Yours, as always, Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

author comment

of my alter ego. When the Raven appears, it is dark and chaotic, murderous and filled with emotional despair, Nevermore was born of something the Raven created inside her head. When LonleyHeart appears, things are much more melancholy and depressive, not as much action or intense emotion.

Keep Writing,
Carrie

"Quoth said the Raven, NEVERMORE"

lovely idea Ian
I like the contrast in the end just it is actually in life
it's not my way of writing but I like it
and it's so fresh, fast and funny and then you change it into love
nice

Emina
Maybe it's better to stay completely within
as fire hides in metal
as water hides in rock.
Rumi

Thank you for your comment, I write in many ways and hope that the slight change would be OK for all that read.
I get bored sometimes after doing comments and just jot the odd thing down.
Great to have you visit me here, You take care and know that it is so appreciated, Yours Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

author comment

Hi Ian …you call me bro or bard …tis okay

send me my fare to London
I will come to meet a lovely one like you
and
borrow a million pounds or two
Oh your rich all know
maybe that's why your poetry does flow
wow you know
as Sadie also says so

some day your poetry will sell
but what will it fetch?
none can that ever tell
someone told me my poems will sell
a dollar a piece,
now how did he know
do tell
well
I am looking for fun
with a return tick -on rather ticket
as if I was your small son…

loved

I am so rich, in that I have great friends
in this world and the next lol.
I have young Bard's and ladies a many.
My home is warm in love and so many things.
Who wants for more.
If I could send you a ticket young Bard
I would send a first class one.
I have petrol in the car, food in the cupboards,
A warm home, and an open door.
Take care young Bard will talk more later,
Yours, Thinking of you as usual, Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

author comment

I know ..you have lots of friends
who will lay their lives for you ....
add another one for whose hand
u have held all along

bard I am ....----in incarnation
that some day I shall
tell you

loved

Just hold the faith in yourself for always.
Friends will gather, as they call your name one by one.
Life can be so lonely even when in a crowded room.
Better to walk the beach alone,
Then without fear you can look to see where you have been.
Though to look ahead to see where you are going seems good
There are no road signs on a virgin beach.
But you will always know where you are going.
Take care young Bard there is so much to see yet,
Yours Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

author comment

Better to walk the beach alone,
you too
Better to walk the beach alone,

Friends will gather,
as they call
your name one by one.

Life can be so
VERY lonely
even when in a crowded room.

Better to walk the beach alone,
Never moan
one day the world
will you alone own..

The small bard was
also ours !!!!!!

loved

I really liked this. It's not often that anybody addresses how we can be so aggravated at a kinsperson yet still be willing to help when needed...............stan

You got it first time, just fiction and a brother that irritates the crap out of one, lol and you are there telling him..
Then there is a phone call, can't really be cross when he is there talking in person lol, and you really do have to love the little shit eh!!!!
Thanks for your visit great Woodsman,
Yours as always Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

author comment

I do sense a kind of frustration in this write but I thoroughly enjoyed it and I have to say I laughed out loud I "felt" where you were coming from with this poem, smile.

really well done I loved the change of tone in this poem very different from your norm, I saw a little door of something else open up (for me)

love always JC xxx

("Always and Forever") - (Never lose a holy curiosity.-Albert Einstein)

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