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Just Another Fucking Poem About The Rain

You left me standing there
with only hands to fill my pockets.
I was hurt and in pain
as I turned to ponder my regrets.
And if you were to say
you chose well when you didn't choose me,
I would have to agree.
I turned out just like you thought I'd be.
A little thin on top,
a little thick around the middle,
the toilet seat is up,
and I still can't play second fiddle.
But those things were minor
when you spat those nasty words at me.
I couldn't be the man
that would pick the cherries from your tree.
So I walked in the rain
until I caught my death in a chill.
Now when I think of you
I have to pop a little red pill.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 

Comments

Fucking amazing. Excuse my language. But simply amazing.

The Unknown Poet

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Thanks for stopping by and having a read. Glad you liked it.

Scott

author comment

You almost gave me a heart attack! YOU writing a rhyming poem lmao. But you did it well as one has to look closely to find it. I liked the bald and heavy ref. Really humanized the poem...........stan

It does happen from time to time. Glad you enjoyed it.

Scott

author comment

The poem does vividly convey vent out emotions of the Subject about rejection....so does the Title too..

Regards,

raj (sublime_ocean)

Thanks for stopping by and offering your input. It's much appreciated.

Scott

author comment

This is a thorn in the throat and could easily get some tear down to the cheek.

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

Follow me
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What do I need to work on to draw those tears?

Scott

author comment

but if it were mine, I would give the title another go.But the poem itself is PERFECT.

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

Follow me
www.instgram.com/rularules1

but the title, Dearest Rula. It must stay.

Scott

author comment

tgfw for without them..where would be we?
inspiration for poetry..
It was the women who always saved me
and the men who gathered me up
slapped me on the arm
adjusted my upturned collar
helped me find my way Home/s
there were many
and many homies

I was lucky
falling through the cracks
sizzling through the Hiss Turns
on the edge with a worn tire
the landscape speeding
a blur
alive and wild

then the grinding crashes
in slow motion
the rain pouring down
beneath the lights
waiting
waiting

Thorns and Drama

I vented the sizzle
baited for it
and paying for it
the tidbits hard to chew
the breadcrumbs freshed
plucked from the crust
and tossed like a trained
pet to catch

kept the boredom away
the ghosts and demons
fetching for chess
the kings and queens
bishops and fools

Tonight its a raining night
chilly and full of its crawling
creatures

and I stay put
in the denizen
with the laundry clanking
round the dog curled
the women settled

device tapping

music swirling

I related to the slap of
this feeling
but I knew that all moves
were to be countered

gathering up intelligence
and experience
poetry when I build
my excursions

Thank You!

As always, thanks for stopping by and taking the time to your input. I appreciate it.

Scott

author comment
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