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Judge and Change (prose)
We cannot judge when change
Comes to others with the past
Have we not seen a cocoon
When it releases the butterfly
Have we not seen the night
Become the clarity of day
Can we not say it's possible
Yet we see it with a next day
Yes that's right, we are change
With every second that passes
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of my title?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
Is the internal logic consistent?
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Region & Country
New York City, N.Y. Spanish Harlem
Favorite Poets
P. Neruda, Jose de Diego, E. Dickenson, R. Frost, there are many more, but these had the greatest influence...
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Comments
weirdelf
Tue, 2012-02-21 02:53
It's a lovely poem,
yet let me say, I want more. Give us real change. This is a little bit "nice".
I don't mean to be mean, let me say
"A poet's work is to name the unnameable, to point at frauds, to take sides, start arguments, shape the world, and stop it going to sleep." Salman Rushdie.
cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry
Eduardo Cruz
Tue, 2012-02-21 10:40
Jess,
I'm talking about we are entitled to change our opinions on things because of facts. If we change our opinions we can not be judge by how we thought in the past. We become a more evolved people by asking questions and changing our opinion or changing someone else's through facts. We can not be afraid of change it happens ever moment we are alive. Well I wrote it this way because I do consider the affect it might have on my peers if I came strong. The simple reason is that fear gets a hold of people if they think that something will change in their life, without wondering if it's good or bad. The change itself is what they fear. (POOR SAPS!)
Over the years I have changed many times, have I evolved? It's hard to say, I will leave that to others who have known me for a long time. the question for me was it good, bad, or just happen stands.
Jess respect to you, thank you for the honest read and comment. You seem sometime to look deeper into the words. Clarity is the hardest thing, you must first understand the writer to get a picture of what their saying beyond the words
Eddie
...
LIFE ISN'T ABOUT WAITING FOR THE STORM TO PASS
IT'S ABOUT LEARNING HOW TO DANCE IN THE RAIN.
VIVIAN GREENE
author commentweirdelf
Thu, 2012-02-23 02:48
Wrong!
You can only know the writer by reading their poetry, not vice versa
cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry
Eduardo Cruz
Fri, 2012-02-24 08:56
Jess,
You are corrrect, why I wrote it that way, ia have no idea.
Respaect,
Eddie
LIFE ISN'T ABOUT WAITING FOR THE STORM TO PASS
IT'S ABOUT LEARNING HOW TO DANCE IN THE RAIN.
VIVIAN GREENE
author commentEduardo Cruz
Fri, 2012-02-24 08:56
Jess,
You are corrrect, why I wrote it that way, ia have no idea.
Respaect,
Eddie
LIFE ISN'T ABOUT WAITING FOR THE STORM TO PASS
IT'S ABOUT LEARNING HOW TO DANCE IN THE RAIN.
VIVIAN GREENE
author commentscribbler
Fri, 2012-02-24 18:31
Hi Eddie
Yep the only constant is change and this includes people.I think lines 2 and 7 could use a bit more clarity (or maybe my poetry glasses need cleaning lol). Now as to having to know the poet in order to understand the poetry, I disagree. It Helps to know the poet but we must always write as if the reader is somebody who doesn't know us at all. When a stranger knows and appreciates our writing only then can we be certain of the clarity of what we are trying to convey. It's not easy and I seldom feel I've done it right either but Hope to "change " for the better. By the way that 2nd stanza is excellent in my opinion...................stan
Eduardo Cruz
Sun, 2012-02-26 14:37
Stan,
I have paste the poem here, so you can follow my train thought as i wrote it I hope this help your poetry "EYE" see
Eddie
We cannot judge when change
Comes to others with the past-(we can not judge with past deeds because things are in constant change,
this is why the next lines speak of the cocoon and butterrfly)
Have we not seen a cocoon
When it releases the butterfly
Have we not seen the night
Become the clarity of day
Can we not say it's possible-(if you keep with the context of the write, change is possible "CHANGE"
Yet we see it with a next day-every day we start anew again context of "CHANGE")
Yes that's right, we are change
With every second that passes
(change is the idea here, people do change just as the season. we become more aware of it as we become older. even though most of the change happens in our youth, but we're to blind to see it with all that is happening only when we bigin to slow down do we really stop to smell the roses.)
....
LIFE ISN'T ABOUT WAITING FOR THE STORM TO PASS
IT'S ABOUT LEARNING HOW TO DANCE IN THE RAIN.
VIVIAN GREENE
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