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JOEY Terza Rima workshop

I saw your mum, so still, so sad to die
so near my house, her legs in air, eyes blank
I knew her face and prayed her soul to fly

I didn’t see the killer, car or tank?
We moved her body gently off the street
The day was hot, not long before she stank.

The flies arrived to feed, your mum was meat.
Her belly moved, I reached inside her pouch
And found you there, my heart it missed a beat

So safely curled within that fleshy couch
Oh bub it was so hard to take you out
You live because you’re strong, for that I vouch
A kangaroo should live to jump about.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 

Comments

As I said earlier, I much like your Terza Rima.
For me line 2 St. 1, and line 3 St. 3 are still one syllable long (just in case you'd like to work 'em out). Unfortunately, I don't have a better alternative.
Very happy to see Joey doing fine. Looks healthy in your profile pic.
(Hey, hello there Joey) :)
It is amazing to know that kangaroos live around homes where you live. For me it is a dream to see one outside the zoo (or sometimes at the zoo :))
I think Joey is really lucky to have you.
Good job dear on many levels.

Ps. I think you've forgotten to hit the Workshop button from the window drop so that it would be officially a workshop submission.

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

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Thanks so much rula. Ive been trying to think about alternatives also. We are lucky here surrounded by national park so theres plenty of wildlife, but still close to highway. I did forget button! Thankyou

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