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It is quiet again

There is a quiet that cannot be filled.
The songs of time are memories
Filling the air with make believe,
If only there was a continuation.

I asked the universe what is happening.
It replied to me in quiet tones
A purpose has been removed
A need must be found for think.

I understand you, I said to the universe
It is late, and I must hurry
Before winter quiets my mind
Just believe, it will happen it said

It is me, I said that patience has left.
I used your energy and failed
I failed to bring all of me in.
Now I have to withdraw inward

We will help you find a new pathway
They sent me a bouquet
The perfume lost my thoughts
Tangled for a while it did.

They talk of the road less travelled
It is because I only need
I walk with you once always
There on the beaches we are.

My now is fixed to a new pathway
I retain all those memories
Rejoice with me once more
Eternity awaits another walk

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Last few words: 
Monday Morning !
Editing stage: 

Comments

"There is a quiet that cannot be filled." A beautiful line. Seems like a poem about the conflict between a whispering past and a future that is calling, also tentatively, like a whisper. A nice read.

Thank you very much for you comment, probably a conflict as you saw, but I seem to be getting more of these the older I get lol.
I expect memories become entangled with the present and then there is their meaning, just me I guess as do many people judging the past with present dreams..
Take care out there and thanks again,
Yours Ian ..

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Give critique to help keep Neopoet great.
Unconditional love to you all.
"Learn to love yourself first"
Yours as always, Ian.T, Sparrow, and Yenti

author comment

You know I've already read this one. I was also stilled by that first line it's really a beaut way to start this poem. It's filled with a deep yearning and I love this poem love love it. Kudos I love that first line wish it was mine lol

Love always Jaughter xxx

("Always and Forever") - (Never lose a holy curiosity.-Albert Einstein)

Yes I may have sent this one to you or put on Face book but not all on Neo read my face Book page let alone comment on the ones I put here.
I have sent a PM to you that will make the words seem clearer,
Take care and many thanks for commenting anyway.
Yours as always DA xx

.
Give critique to help keep Neopoet great.
Unconditional love to you all.
"Learn to love yourself first"
Yours as always, Ian.T, Sparrow, and Yenti

author comment

The first stanza of this poem could easily stand alone....well done

Great to see you here, maybe I will have to have some stress to write better pieces lol
Hope we see some more of your world before the winters snow..
I think that I need a cup full of energy on my think side, I shall ask the children to pop in and help..
Take care out there and good to walk with you for a moment.
Yours as always Ian..

.
Give critique to help keep Neopoet great.
Unconditional love to you all.
"Learn to love yourself first"
Yours as always, Ian.T, Sparrow, and Yenti

author comment
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