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INCREMENTS
Sometimes I think of good old days
but were they really all that good?
Or are they brightened by time's glaze
as I squint beneath memories' hood?
But that past can not be cured
nor brought back to anyone
just recollections old and blurred.
Like leaves they all turn slowly dun.
Let me share a secret my friend
the future has an ending point
and we all come to that end
like the snap of a breaking joint.
So let the past go where it will,
let future's worries dissipate.
Though we cannot make time stand still
its Nows which add up to our fate.
Style / type:
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words:
I know this is pretty raw so feel free to help
Editing stage:
Content level:
Not Explicit Content
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Comments
Geezer
Thu, 2021-06-10 07:07
Help is on the way...
Know, that we cannot make time stand still
It's the 'Now' that adds up our fate.
.
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
scribbler
Fri, 2021-06-11 10:53
I need
all the help I can get lol
Ray Whitaker
Thu, 2021-06-10 18:46
This lives in that philosophical place
that is never far away. That place that authenticity comes from, and spawns creativity. Really like this.
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Raywhitakerblog.wordpress.com
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scribbler
Fri, 2021-06-11 10:54
Hi Ray
I never know on my own whether or not something I write is any good. Thank you for your kind comment
Triskelion
Wed, 2021-06-16 05:01
For a start;
Hi scribbler. consider changing "good" to a synonym.(great, grand) and try to replace "hood" it's a real reach for me...
Thomas
.
.
...so like my lost dreams...the flood
scribbler
Wed, 2021-06-16 08:15
Hi
I have not been happy with those 2 lines since they were written. Good to know my instincts are correct lol. I'm going to do an edit before long and will see if I can straighten this out