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I Wonder

I looked to the ragged hills
Valleys strewn with grass and trees
I heard you say how beautiful
I missed this point in many ways

How can a ragged piece of rock
Seem beautiful to your limited sight
Then weed strewn valleys to me
Catch that eye you have in beauty

I need a house with just a piece of land
I don't want something over grand
There in your eye that's blind to me
Ragged rocks and lots of greenery

Keep me in my back to back houses
Or build me a wooden prefab shack
That's hidden from everyone's view
You can live in "I'm all right Jack"

Tell my children how you make money
Treating most like slaves it just isn't funny
There seems to be no solution to our plight
We would outnumber you in a fight

I wish I had the strength to move
If only I could afford the food
I will tell you who I have to thank
Hang around, I am off to the food bank

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Last few words: 
Fed up with the false prices of land and houses that really keeps the poor where they will stay always..
Editing stage: 

Comments

food bank? do you mean the toilet? lol

prices rising everywhere
yet the wages' increase in a snail's pace
they are giving me a scare
and one big headache, a splitting ace
its crazy i tell you
when life lacks the old simplicity
and then comes the fool
who says take it or leave it
as if there is another choice present
that could ease my wrinkles
if this is the current situation
i worry for my next generation
for the prices never stop increasing
it will not be as free as the birds
making me missed the good old days
when its free to use the public toilet!

Alid

The food bank is here in England where people go when they can't afford to buy any.
It is an affront to what we term as a first world country, we are the fifth richest country in the world God help the poorest.
The status quo is kept so that the poor stay where they are, this is so called civilisation.
Thanks for your visit, Yours Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

author comment

Ooops! Sorry, Ian. I apologize for my ignorance. Thanks for the explanation.

Alid

I wonder!

loved

Have I modified what I only put this together yesterday evening ???? because I hadn't written anything for a day or so.
Yours Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

author comment

I had read it twice before
but then some one called....
I ran had a minor fall
and forgot to comment
on this lovely one
after all
at times its fun ....
making stories tall

loved

The only fall I wish on you
is that you fall in love
with all those things in life that are true.
Have patience with the world and understand yourself before inflicting you on others LOL.
Take care young Bard I hope you are OK
I think that falling is the one thing I fear,
it gives you that feeling of helplessness, and as to that strange feeling that stabs the stomach when you trip, I wonder who invented that one.
Yours as always, Yenti
PS:- am going to use Yenti for a while I quite like the word..

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

author comment

this last week
I nearly died of an acute stomach ache
your good wishes called out for more poetry

Perhaps that's why I survived
and tried
not cried
I an I owe much to Sadie and you

loved

we are all children in the end though our knowledge may span a thousand years we will be as children to the ones that have achieved perfection, we will just have to wait and see,
Yours as always,
Yenti and the Children

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

author comment

we will just have to====================

'''wait and see...''

and
I am at sea
still waiting
to see!,

That's why in most of my poems I say
the distant horizon i can't see the sunset shows its lining and when the sun has set where I live my kith and kin awaken so round the clock we all keep vigil waiting to see the horizon at sea can you come some day leave the Thames Blue Nile if you may and stand besides us to see ...where -in the seashores wait for none other except you and I my friend life's magical end in the surfs of imagination do end till the last we wait and see finally we all are going to be at sea...

loved

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