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I Think I'll Have Another

Bob Schoenbeck died
thirty years
after he took his last drink.

I never really considered alcoholism
until I realized
I couldn't get through my day
without a bottle,
at least not the stressful ones.

And I guess it doesn't matter
what we say to our therapists and friends.
The only important thing
is our perception, right?

And so I guess I'll have another.
I guess this
is where the long train ends.

Growing up here,
there were two sets of tracks,
that got whittled down to one
by the time we moved back.

When I was 17 or so
I crossed the tressle
on the west end of town
with Scott and Aaron,
and wondered what would happen
if a locomotive came by.

And now I wonder about hobos,
if they even exist any more.
I wonder if Kerouac or Cassidy
felt the same urges.

Man, I want to cry.
Damn, I want to cry
on that bridge over the Charles River in Cambridge,
the most romantic bridge I ever knew.
But I'll be damned if it'll let me.

I can't get drunk
and I can't swear,
and I can't give up
or even be the slightest bit weak.
Gotta maintain the facade.
For whom I do not know.

So I'll have another,
and melodramatically tell you
how this bottle is my last friend,
since I've managed to alienate every one else.
Since I've managed it,

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage: 


the stanza that begins "I can't get drunk," fits as it is. You might say that you are not supposed to get drunk, swear or give up and I think that would clarify the situation. Also the word [trestle]. Don't get me wrong, I like the poem, I just feel that it could use that clarification. I was a member of a congregation many years ago, that made me feel the same way and I wholly sympathize with what you have written. Good title, and all the rest, hope you keep writing this good!
~ Geezer.

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