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I Never Walked You Home

Submitted by J.E. Deegan on Sat, 2023-09-23 14:26

I never walked you home from school,
Nor did I tote your books.
And I never sat with you in class,
Spellbound by your good looks.

I never watched you walk the halls,
Or heard you laugh or sigh.
And I never felt my envy rise,
Were you with some other guy.

I never took you to the prom,
Or asked you for a date.
And I never had to tell your dad,
Why I brought you home so late.

We grew up in different times,
And in places far apart.
And had God Himself not intervened,
You would not have won my heart.

But God did choose to intervene,
And He brought our lives together.
I’m sure that he was confident,
That I’d cherish you forever.

I never walked you home from school,
In those days now long ago.
But had I known you way back then,
I would have, that is so.

Review Request (Intensity):

I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Review Request (Direction):

What did you think of my title?

How was my language use?

What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?

How does this theme appeal to you?

How was the beginning/ending of the poem?

Is the internal logic consistent?

Last few words:

I appreciate any critique of my work. J.E. Deegan

Editing stage:

Editing - rough draft

Content level:

Not Explicit Content

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Comments

neopoet

Sat, 2023-09-23 20:30

Neopoet AI 5-29-23 version

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

The poem "I Never Walked You Home" explores the theme of missed opportunities and the impact of divine intervention on a relationship. The speaker reflects on the moments they never experienced with the subject of the poem, highlighting the distance and circumstances that kept them apart. The poem concludes with the assertion that if given the chance, the speaker would have walked the subject home from school.

The poem effectively conveys a sense of longing and regret through its nostalgic tone and imagery. The repetition of the line "I never" emphasizes the missed opportunities and adds a rhythmic quality to the poem. The use of rhyme also contributes to the overall flow of the piece.

One suggestion for improvement would be to further develop the emotional depth of the poem. While the speaker expresses regret for not having been there in the past, it would be beneficial to explore the emotions associated with this regret more explicitly. This could be achieved by delving into the speaker's feelings of longing, sadness, or even gratitude for the divine intervention that

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Lavender

Tue, 2023-09-26 14:10