No longer am I walking 'round half blind.
I've learned so much from youtube, that I vow
the cyberspace has opened up my mind.
I'm so much better educated now.

The Pope's the antichrist, the devil's child.
And all that we've been taught is just not true.
Conspirators throughout the world beguile,
and occupy the thoughts of me and you.

The leader of the USA, Obama,
intends a future presidential heist,
and, secretly, he's gay and worships Allah,
so (somehow) he is, too, the antichrist.

The dashing William, prince of England's realm,
has all the country captured in a spell
and bides his time, he waits to take the helm.
And, guess what ... he's the antichrist as well.

And others too (there's, of them, an excess)
like Putin and Netanyahu, the Jew.
With all these antichrists the earth's a mess,
and soon a One World Order will ensue.

The scientists, especially NASA's best,
are telling porkies fit to make one blush.
One needs just log on to the internet
to find the truth, It's all so obvious.

They try to tell us that there's no such thing
as bigfoot, mermaids, dragons, fairy queen,
or modern pterodactyles on the wing
(I know they lie, ten videos I've seen).

There're movies shot of flying human beings,
and those so strong they lift a truck alone,
and shapeshifters that hide enormous wings,
and sneak into our workplaces and homes.

And do you know the the black-eyed kids? I've heard,
they try to trick us somehow, into what?
We don't know what they're up to, but the word
is certainly there's got to be a plot.

The world is really flat, the sky's a dome
that stretches like a big bowl over us.
It's made, they say, from deep-blue stryofoam.
The sun and moon and stars are stuck there, thus.

We never landed on the distant moon.
The aliens already had the place.
As well, they lurk beneath our feet, to soon
disclose their camouflaged, below ground base..

The governments, they know about these beings.
They scheme with them with villianous intent.
Of devastating war, there's whisperings,
and time to make protective plans is spent.

But common folk have not a hope in hell.
Survival - dubious beyond next year.
The coming comet rings the endtime bell
and only the elite be profiteer.

And, even if it chance to miss the earth,
a greater misery may be unleashed.
That Planet X gives no real cause for mirth -
a second sun that's rising in the east.

Without a doubt, 'twill cause a polar shift.
Resulting earthquakes, fires and tidal waves,
and moving land from continental drift
will excavate all dead bones from their graves.

That's when those antichrists will rise above
the magnates of a world reduced to tears.
They'll rid the globe of unconditional love.
With terror they will rule a thousand years.

Preparing for it all, I've dug a hole.
I've made it wide and deep, and also found
catastrophe-surviving manuals,
to help me through those years there underground.

I wrap my head in tinfoil (do not jeer).
Protect my brain and soul from alien threat.
There's so, so very much for me to fear.
It must be true, it's on the internet.
.