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How I do it

I imagine that you search for traces of yourself in my poems
That like me you need equanimity
So I soak myself in thoughts to drip words
Now this isn't just any easy process
Thoughts fly around like birds, how hard it is to cage one
Then I let its sweet blood flow to my fingers, oh how slow
And this exactly is how I drip words that reach your soul

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
Editing stage: 

Comments

short and sharp, and really has some great ideas, the dripping of words, thoughts flying around like birds..reaching the soul of the reader...great stuff!

As far as poems go i consider this poem on a high level. But I have to also be honest about the idea of using "u" for you. Somehow a voice mail abbreviation in the middle stands out to me like poop on a perfect statue...that's where your eye goes. This poem is too professional for that. Sorry for being so passionate about this, but I do think it is a very important detail.

Eumolpus
I'd rather learn from one bird how to sing
than teach ten thousand stars how not to dance
ee cummings

in total agreement with Empy on this. I like the poem very much, but please don't use abbreviations like [u]. The title is good, your language fine, the pattern/rhythm and the theme just as good. It's not a romantic work, but I felt a certain emotion somewhat like it. Nice! ~ Geezer.
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So much... I'm really sorry, I just totally forgot to correct that part I'm really glad you called my attention to it...thanks❤️

author comment

I have read for a while,
but good on you for saying it!

cheers,
Jess
A new incentive for critique, description at
https://www.neopoet.com/community/news/proposal-encouraging-critiquescom...
discussion at
https://www.neopoet.com/forum/23390

someone else's poem tonight did precisely this- spoke directly to me, it is very, very rare.

cheers,
Jess
A new incentive for critique, description at
https://www.neopoet.com/community/news/proposal-encouraging-critiquescom...
discussion at
https://www.neopoet.com/forum/23390

You

author comment

To us Aussies sometimes abuse is the highest form of praise.
This was meant as praise- very high aspirations successfully achieved.
Congratulations, well word-crafted and deeply meaningful.

cheers,
Jess
A new incentive for critique, description at
https://www.neopoet.com/community/news/proposal-encouraging-critiquescom...
discussion at
https://www.neopoet.com/forum/23390

author comment

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However, do you accept my apology?

cheers,
Jess
A new incentive for critique, description at
https://www.neopoet.com/community/news/proposal-encouraging-critiquescom...
discussion at
https://www.neopoet.com/forum/23390

author comment

Have just had a dabble at your write and tried to assemble it in a different form, maybe its the way I write but there are forms of writing that I am still playing with.
To me this written this way is more readable to me.

How I do it

I imagine that you search
For traces of yourself
In my poems
That like me
you need equanimity
So I soak myself in thoughts,
Dripping words

Now this isn't just any easy process
Thoughts fly around like birds.
How hard it is to cage one.
Then I let its sweet blood flow.
To my fingers.

Oh how slow.
This is exactly how I drip words.
That reach your soul.

Hope you will forgive the intrusion and changes, take care and keep writing, I did like the theme just had to dabble and flutter around. lol.
Yours, Sparrow..

.
Give critique to help keep Neopoet great.
Unconditional love to you all.
"Learn to love yourself first"
Yours as always, Ian.T, Sparrow, and Yenti

author comment
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