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A House

The calm of the field
glares an emptiness back,

against the window
neither aghast nor sure,

the sun turns
a million blinding
ears of corn

to face this house
which may not be home.

The floorboard's sweaty wax
of childhood
are exposed,

the carpet now stripped
in my prodigal absence.

And if the scent of
polish decays
to reveal the dust of
wasted years;

where is the mop
that would wash?

How many windows
need be opened?

This may never
be understood.

Apart from love,
this house hums
to the tune
of stale wine and blood;

soaked through its roots,

into the ancient clay.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words: 
Childhood, memory, sometimes an ideal, sometimes not.
Editing stage: 

Comments

such fragile things and so often they are frangible too. "to face this house which may not be home". Most excellent statement of one not always being the other.........stan

Small tinkering. i won't change much here, pretty happy.

Thanks for the feedback.

Chris Hall - Tasmania

Grossbooted draymen rolled barrels dullthudding out of Prince's stores and bumped them up on the brewery float. On the brewery float bumped dullthudding barrels rolled by grossbooted draymen out of Prince's stores.

author comment

a tale from the dark-side. I felt a familiar emotion, hard to describe, but easy to recognize. Must have been pretty hard sometimes. Your use of words, the tone and pace that was set, made this a good read. ~ Gee.
.

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Yes it is hard to explain. A certain melancholy and nostalgia, even though, it was not an ideal..part of you nonetheless.

Thanks.

Chris.

Chris Hall - Tasmania

Grossbooted draymen rolled barrels dullthudding out of Prince's stores and bumped them up on the brewery float. On the brewery float bumped dullthudding barrels rolled by grossbooted draymen out of Prince's stores.

author comment

strong theme, the past, from a man's perspective, recalling a child's perceptions.

"...soaked through, (comma) its (no apostrophe) roots into the ancient clay...or
soaked through its roots, into the ancient clay

I'm sure these are just a couple of typos

you are good at description that has a tactile feeling

liked it, has heart

Al

As suggested I think. Autobiographical sense memory, honesty being the best policy, I think I'll leave it where it is for now.

Thanks.

Chris.

Chris Hall - Tasmania

Grossbooted draymen rolled barrels dullthudding out of Prince's stores and bumped them up on the brewery float. On the brewery float bumped dullthudding barrels rolled by grossbooted draymen out of Prince's stores.

author comment

sorry about the confusion, it was late in my timezone (I sometimes sleep during the day)
...all for a misplaced apostrophe!

yeah, leave it be
it has an honest feel

Al

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