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Hope and peace

The cold and bitterness of winter tarries,
Hinders in our memory,
But the light of spring will be radiant,
As there is always hope and faith.

Hope is powerful,
More powerful than any conflict or demise,
If there hope to be felt,
The spring will come more soon.

The bitterness of unfairness and unevenness,
Can be quite dreadful and hinder,
But hope can be stronger,
And soon the bright outburst of light,
Lights up the brilliant future.

All that is gold and wealth,
Does not have to glitter,
There are things in this world that wealth cannot fulfill,
But with hope and faith, there can be more.

Dreadful things happen to us all,
They tarry and hinder for long in our memory,
But that is why we do not quit,
As there is a victory to come.

Victory does not come easily,
But there is a true way to do it,
We do not hinder in fighting,
As the effort does not be wasted.

When there’s a will there’s a way,
That old saying goes,
As we can fight with courage,
Strong as we go.

Desperate situations we are in,
But there is a light to be seen,
Turn on the light,
As the world will fill with light.

People don’t realize their mistakes,
Only when it’s too late,
But it fine to make mistakes,
If everyone works to fix it up.

We can stop fighting,
Quarreling over worthless things,
As fighting will make situations worse,
We can make quiet.

When hope is strong,
When the world comes together for one purpose,
We can march to victory,
In the bright, bright future.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content


There is a lot of repetition here and repetition can be so powerful! Light and hope are powerful themes and worth repetition. I think making the repetition more structured and consistent could make the poem even stronger. You may want to read up on some poetic forms and examples that do this. Tennyson's The Charge of the Light Brigade immediately comes to mind as one example.

you should say
13 years young yet
compose shorter poems let all get a feel from the young first

Hello, Mike.
Welcome to Neopoet! I do agree that the poem initially looks a bit long, but after reading several times, I'm not certain what should be removed. It is all so relevant to your theme. I've heard that a poem is never finished until there is nothing else that can be removed. Perhaps tighten your thoughts a bit. I also agree that repetition is worthy here. This poem astounds me. It feels bold and courageous. I look forward to reading more from you!
Thank you!

Thank you for your thoughts!! I appreciate it, fun fact is that I don't go to poetry lessons!!

author comment

In your powm you sound as if you are trying to uplift another your strongest word here is hope yes we all must not give up hope as it is what carries us through


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