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A holiday ?? (December Contest)

Want me to talk of holidays
This is December you know
Or did the heat in your home
Distract you and make you blind.

A memory of the ocean from a child
There my parents would laugh
As we floundered in shallow waters
Warm sands held our feet for a moment

A bus waiting to take us home, Oh Joy.
Then I could not think of hunger
There in the warmth of my mother’s arms
The world was at peace, at least within me

Dare I feel reality of this now I am?
Just a simple thing where I hurt my hand
Not able to work for a little while
Jobs gone, I drifted away from life

Now I sleep here at Christmas time
A trip to the city would be just fine
Twenty miles to walk in broken shoes
Just for your awful looks and abuse.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
Last few words: 
The curve of the bridges roof holds me It is wonderful, I shall smile some more. Me I am able to live without want, sometimes I should be more thankful..
Editing stage: 

Comments

can smile while living under a bridge in the cold and lonely winter, already has more than I could ever hope to give them. Hopefully, someone will take it upon themselves to gift him with a warm smile, a warm meal and maybe a job. Nice story Sparrow, hope your holiday is a good one, say hello to the children for me. ~ Gee.
.

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I am pleased that you visited me under this bridge, my phone is charged by the overhead electricity and the passengers throw food parcels out of the windows of passing trains so I am fine lol..
Take care young road warrior and stay safe over the holidays.
Love to all, Yours Ian and the Children..

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Give critique to help keep Neopoet great.
Unconditional love to you all.
"Learn to love yourself first"
Yours as always, Ian.T, Sparrow, and Yenti

author comment

Description:Submit a 20 line .....maximum poem...... about a favourite holiday memory.

Must be >>>>>>free verse<<<<<<<<<< and imagery rich

Ian

The last two lines are just there if not required can be deleted but I am just taking part in the contest.
Just remembered my 5X table.
Oh my God I have erred just for fun and some are telling me I cant count lol.
Hope you had a lovely Christmas
Yours as always Ian ..

.
Give critique to help keep Neopoet great.
Unconditional love to you all.
"Learn to love yourself first"
Yours as always, Ian.T, Sparrow, and Yenti

author comment

Anyone who could survive that type of conditions is certainly a strong individual. A very powerful story, indeed. Wishing you all the best!

Keep Writing,
Carrie

"Quoth said the Raven, NEVERMORE"

Great to hear from you as always,
I have a tape here by MNOP called "The Raven Bird"
A Northern Odyssey, on the tape is a song about the Raven the lads on there sing about Canada they were in a place up Hudson bay area Murphy the singer use to run a radio station there but we have all lost touch.
I use to work in Canada for the MOD from UK we would take a helicopter there in the winter for icing trials great fun. always in the winter we would stay in Ottawa or at Cold lake Alberta for around 10 weeks at a time..
Take care out there and I hope you and your family are fine, Yours as always Ian..

.
Give critique to help keep Neopoet great.
Unconditional love to you all.
"Learn to love yourself first"
Yours as always, Ian.T, Sparrow, and Yenti

author comment

A good write/song about the Raven. Such a beautiful bird! Glad to hear from you as always! Hope you and yours enjoy the New Year.

Keep Writing,
Carrie

"Quoth said the Raven, NEVERMORE"

thats all i can say

"Poetry is music for the human voice. Until you actually speak it or someone speaks it, it has not come into it's own."
- Maya Angelou

Many thanks for your visit to my imaginations world.
There are very few true pieces of my writing, mostly they are just thoughts away from my normal good quiet life. Though that life is turned on its head sometimes and over the years it has happened a few times.
Gives the poet material to use and exaggerate some..
Thanks Again and have a great new year,
Yours as always, Ian.

.
Give critique to help keep Neopoet great.
Unconditional love to you all.
"Learn to love yourself first"
Yours as always, Ian.T, Sparrow, and Yenti

author comment

Many are the times that memories of youth give us comfort in the cold reality of adulthood. Like your poem and good luck in contest

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