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Helpless Idol
Who could be content
with this wretched world
religions bribe
death; bovine silence
tears of my beating red heart
without passions arc
there would only be rational thought
and grizzled earth
arctic cold
poetry beats the gravity
of this rock
deepens the mouth of inspiration
worming through
the machinery of desperation
like Jesus floats
eloquence it's revenge
a helpess idol
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage:
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Comments
themoonman
Sat, 2018-12-08 17:20
Hi,
Without art it would all be dry
and lifeless ... your words
struck me somber.
tip o the hat
zebra
Sun, 2018-12-09 04:46
Thank you moon man ;)
Thank you moon man ;)
lovedly
Sun, 2018-12-09 05:38
your creativity surpasses all
ur neo's new esker after all
we just loaf around
the poetrick mall
some one read us also
if at all
nice poetic call
zebra
Sun, 2018-12-09 14:45
Touched
Thank you so very much Lovedly ….so very very!!!!!!
;)