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Heaven’s Stain

Beauty lies, and so it is underneath this skin where the eyes of winter green, and buttered chin are nursed of heaven’s stain. This love lives on in the darkness and the light. In the coolness of the night, and radical tempermant of the day…then for once, whence inside the head the mind may run wild, inviting the angels to stay. Once in a lifetime, love is forgiving. And beauty is its nemesis. This is where I am obliged to indulge on the same road where truth knows folly. And, happenstance is familiar with seduction.

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Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Direction): 
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Last few words: 
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Editing stage: 

Comments

Welcome to Neopoet. I hope that you find a home here and enjoy the comments and critique of your fellow poets. Which brings me to your poem. I see that you are not actively editing, but I would suggest that you choose to portray this work in a four line stanza form, that will allow the reader to read it more easily and thus understand it better. ~ Geezer.
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There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

I tend to agree with my friend's above comments about turning this to shorter lines to give the reader a breath, but you know better what suits you best. I like so much the internal rhyming of these lines. I thought I'd play a little with your piece (hope you don't mind it) just to see if you like it this way. I know it might not read perfectly the way you want it to, so feel free to take my suggestion or leave it all together

Beauty lies, and so it is
underneath this skin where
the eyes of winter green,
and buttered chin
are nursed of heaven’s stain.

This love lives on in
the darkness and the light.
In the coolness of the night,
and radical tempermant of the day…

then for once, whence inside
the head the mind may run wild,
inviting the angels
to stay.

Once in a lifetime,
love is forgiving.
And beauty is its nemesis.

This is where I am obliged
to indulge on the same road
where truth knows folly.
And, happenstance
is familiar with seduction.

again welcome to Neopoet

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Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words ........Robert Frost☺

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