Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

heADAche

Love leaves me on an island with dried waters
remaining the fall of my eyeballs.
I have wept still weeping like the rushing- hour
of a stubborn rain.
Plateau griefs alongside my plight
for its love ones, painted on bloody walls
My love for you keeps me percolating between
choosing your warmth for this Kwashiorkor Naija.
You are the happiness, the one whose desert I will survive.
Let African shrine be your feet, I
will pour libation to appease your hair,
naked my words at the sight of your complexion.
Your walks, queenly like the yelling
of your matured breast with oasis
That leaves me yapping like a boneless dog...

Headache.
This headache is not of stress... Or
Of headlines of Naija News Update
'Cos am aware of the museum of peace
lying in your heart.
But this warming, my brain torments me,
Of me looking at you but your face at Venus.
Everyday like day before,l stand at my window
Imagining both of us counting the stars, jokingly,
telling ourselves the Jordan's team we want
as children to warm our blissful court.
Am a leper in this memory of longings
Trying to wear Tony Montana
To hide my feelings into words...

Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage: 
Contest: 

Comments

I would like to share my thoughts, but only do so on work requesting raw feedback.

---------------------------------------------------------

Jonathan Moore

(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.