Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

A Hallmark Moment

A Hallmark Moment

Bask in the field starring up at the sky
Out of sadness you get a glimpse of a passerby
Through shadows that close their weary ways
We lie helpless having one of those days
Inside we smile to help fight the pain
To treasure a red rose that was plucked a time before
Shape dreams from the sky a fleeting angel in flight
A beacon of light to a much hurting world in need
As seagulls flock over head it pierces to the soul
Words spoken in soft melodic dew can often roll
The mountains have etched a cavern in my brain
We walk humbly with are mate as if on are first date
A plate of salad mixed with berries & lime
The soft kiss from a loved one pierces to the soul
Crafted created elegance in the simple touch exposed
An opened door to so much love for so much more
Borrowed pews in thier church stained glass scene
Beware of entertaining strangers might be angels in disguise
A pull at the heart should light the inner spark to what were waiting for
Long walk in the woods searching for birds nestled after there flight
Love should be the essence of one's existence so stop the resistance

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
Editing stage: 


to critique this one, as I am not sure of what you intended as a form. You have elements of rhyme and free-form blended. I also wasn't conscious of a central theme. I think with a little thought, that this could indeed be a Hallmark moment, but it just doesn't measure up. ~ Geezer.

Our Chatroom is open 24/7 Feel free to use it for
keeping in touch We have poets around the world and it is fun
to have real-time conversations with those that are up
all night or on the other side of the world.

Example, first couple of lines:
Bask in the field starring up at the sky
Out of sadness you get a glimpse of a passerby
maybe something like..
Bask in a field and stare at the sky
In sadness you glimpse a passerby
We do no the direction to look for the sky and the second line now fits rhythmically with the first.

Keith Logan
the happy chappy

(c) No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.