Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

HAIKU (Japanese poetry shop)

Seems I heard or read that Haiku are usually untitled........

#1
As sweat drips from brow
even beneath a shade tree
comes dreams of winter

#2
The new mown hay field
wild flowers and grass like thatch
where now butterfly?

#3
Let the storm winds howl
let them toss the fields and trees
tempests seldom last

Style / type: 
Structured: Eastern
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Editing stage: 

Comments

I think this workshop starts on June 12 and the first thing is four Haiku's I think this will give you time to write one and me Four lol Take care see you soon, Yours Ian.T
These three are near perfect in syllables and format...

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

Darn
I saw another shop submission for thia and just assumed it was underway............stan

author comment

Im excited too
so I'm gonna open it up now and all can start posting.. I have started my haiku also but will wait to post after I see all the others.

*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.

Neopoet Community

Your syllable count is tops. And they all resonates with nature nicely. Looking forward to seeing your senyru in the next step.

*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.

Neopoet Community

Thank you. It's trying for the minor "twist" in final line which can be tough in such short forms...........stan

author comment

#1 love it!

#2 poignant

#3 a bit ho hum, descriptive rather than evocative

great start mate!

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

No problem as this form is simple enough that the only critique possible would be either a miscount or possible difference in pronunciation. Now I need to get off my duff and do one more haiku for this shop and give a Tanka a try.Appreciate the feedback...............stan

author comment

These are excellent just a wee crib on the last one
"strong winds seldom last could this not be Gales so that you are not repeating winds, I know wind repeats but not in Haiku La La.
Take care too much wind is bad for everyone, Yours Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

I'll shake my head and see if a substitute word comes rattling out lol............stan

author comment
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.