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#haiku 5

coo coo coo woo woo
a male dove's quaint serenade
wooing female doves

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
Editing stage: 

Comments

Put your punctuation in,
just don't use symbols like @#$% or digits.

I can't say that this one really says anything to me.

I think it's playtime, let's have some fun! It doesn't have to be a limerick but just something silly, funny or nonsense or just playing with words.

You are so deep and serious all the time. Crikey! If poetry wasn't so much fun I would go back to my old job as an undertaker.

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet Managing Directors, with Richard (themoonman)

Alright Jess.

author comment

That was thoughtful of you Molly78, thanks so much.

author comment

Coo coo coo woo woo?
Are you serious?
I am laughing.

IRiz

Dear IRiz , I have tried in vain to comprehend what you were trying to put across.Could you elaborate Please?

author comment

Okay MarvelG,
Alliteration is good but when half a poem is just oos and oos it is too much.

IRiz

Alliteration can be a tribute to the music of language, and works that way as long as it does not distract from what the words say.
Use of alliteration is acceptable in haiku and there's no rules restricting how much of it that could be used.
" I am laughing" doesn't in any way seem like a comment or critique to me.And I have been making research to see if alliteration causes laughter.

author comment

In haiku there is absolutely no room for wasted words.
This is your worst work so far, there is no need to defend it, just move on to something better.

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet Managing Directors, with Richard (themoonman)

Yes Jess, you have said that already before now and if I were taking defence I would have done that on my reply to your comment.Thanks Jess.

author comment

Yes my dear friend, alliteration is one of the important means to deliver a message.
Please use it in the future as much as it is not the purpose of the poem.
Looking forward to reading more of your work. Forgive me for my giggles.

IRiz

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