Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.
Grow Up
Grow up.
That’s what my parents always told me
You act like a child.
That’s what my teachers told me.
You are so immature.
That’s what my friends told me.
Why are you like this?
That’s what I said to myself.
Every night in the mirror
Until one day
You aren’t the parent here.
That’s what my parents tell me.
You changed.
That’s what my teachers tell me.
You have gotten boring.
That’s what my friends tell me.
Why are they like this?
I ask myself in the mirror.
Because no matter what I do
I can’t meet society's standards for me.
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage:
Content level:
Not Explicit Content
Opt-in: Neopoet AI will critique your poem.
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.
Comments
neopoet
Tue, 2023-05-16 23:13
Neopoet AI
The below is a computer generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:
The poem "Grow Up" explores the pressure of societal expectations and the struggle to meet them. The repetition of the phrases "That's what" and "I ask myself in the mirror" create a sense of frustration and self-doubt. The use of different voices, including the speaker's own, adds to the feeling of being constantly judged and criticized.
One possible line edit could be to change "Why are they like this?" to "Why am I like this?" This would further emphasize the internal struggle the speaker is facing and make the poem more personal.
Overall, the poem effectively conveys the theme of societal pressure and the difficulty of meeting expectations. The use of different voices and repetition adds to the emotional impact of the piece.
Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact
Geezer
Wed, 2023-05-17 08:38
I get it...
The question is not, "Why am I like this", but rather "Why are THEY like this? The author feels as though they aren't the one who is in question of their 'sanity', but everyone else! They feel as though they may have been wrong in questioning themselves. At least they hope so. I like the change of attitude, the reasoning that maybe, just maybe... everyone else is wrong, and I am alright. I'm sure that lots of people feel that way at some point in their lives. Nicely done! ~ Geezer.
.
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.