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grieve not

nirvana’s here, ‘tis not a destination
and understanding transience, the key
creation brings, of natural course, cessation
to grant inception, birth, of what will be

impermanence, a fundamental means
of death and birth and death, the rhythms sound
when this is done and that has also been
then what was not, will be arising, found

becoming, as a seed to plant, to flower
as river to a stream’s connected flow
where one thing passes into something other
and nothing’s lost, while all exists to grow

and, as The Buddha’s disciplines explain
‘tis ignorance of this that causes pain
.

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
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Comments

Please excuse my ignorance and lack of knowledge of the poetry form this subscribes to. But after reading your poem it was an "Ah!" for me, for the way you have put into poetic words your spiritual knowledge about eternal dwelling of soul from one form into another which is also based on principal in physics (if I am right) about one energy form changing into another. I liked the concluding lines especially because the poem doesn't speak about possibilities of after life but on Buddha's discipline to be enlightened about it to alleviate pain in the present souldom..

Regards,

raj (sublime_ocean)

Thank you for the very positive comments
Love judy
xxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

author comment

totally ignorant of the content and Buddaha's diciplines, sorry.:(
But it strikes me the use of so many polysyllabic words (which I still fear using especially when attempting a strict form as a sonnet.

Assuming this is a sonnet, though you didn't lable it so. A great flow
but lol..I didn't like

where one thing passes into something other . I thought it is a bit forced . I think naturally we say something passes into another, don't we?
It is only my opinion though. You sure know what you want to say.
Thanks for sharing dear.

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

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No, I don't claim this as a sonnet - it is missing a volta (unless you think the couplet may count as one - I'm not too sure ??)

As for 'where one thing passes into something other' - I see nothing wrong with the grammar....one can say 'where one thing passes into something else' ... another word for 'else' is 'other' ... and of course I may be mistaken, but I think it is a rather poetic way to say it (lol - my opinion of course)

Love judy
xxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

author comment

keep rubbing my nose in the fact that while I suck at sonnets, you produce them as if throwing seed to song birds lol............stan

I wouldn't say this is a true sonnet - it is missing a strong volta
It is supposed to be iambic pentameter though....
Thanks for the read and comment
Love judy
xxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

author comment

I read this as a pure poem though the 14 lines did query Sonnet, not sure if it would be a good idea to turn it into a sonnet some poems have to stay in their original format.
Rula has a small point about the flowing words but the theme over ruled that..
For those that are unaware of a Volta:-

From Ency Britannica

Volta, ( Italian: “turn”) the turn in thought in a sonnet that is often indicated by such initial words as But, Yet, or And yet.
The Volta occurs between the octet and sestet in a Petrarchan sonnet,
and sometimes between the 8th and 9th or between the 12th and 13th lines of a Shakespearean sonnet, as in William Shakespeare’s sonnet number 130:

My mistress’ eyes are nothing like the sun;
Coral is far more red than her lips’ red;
If snow be white, why then her breasts are dun;
If hairs be wires, black wires grow on her head.
I have seen roses damask’d, red and white,
But no such roses see I in her cheeks;
And in some perfumes is there more delight
Than in the breath that from my mistress reeks.
I love to hear her speak, yet well I know
That music hath a far more pleasing sound;
I grant I never saw a goddess go;
My mistress, when she walks, treads on the ground.
And yet, by heaven, I think my love as rare
As any she belied with false compare.
Good write there Judy, Yours, Ian x

.
Give critique to help keep Neopoet great.
Unconditional love to you all.
"Learn to love yourself first"
Yours as always, Ian.T, Sparrow, and Yenti

For the read and comment
Without a huge change, I doubt I'd get a strong volta from this.... the couplet could be seen as a weak one, I think, but I'm not claiming this to be a sonnet

love judy
xxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

author comment

but I surely did. I had some problems with enjambments. Some were a bit sudden. Otherwise, the subject was not only fascinating, but the language is complex and... well... sexy. Smart and smart sounding is very popular right now.
This is sharp.

W. H. Snow

A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley

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for the time and support
love judy
xxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

author comment

I like it so much. It's only S3 L3 I am not happy with.
it is fascinating! Just what you said.

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

Follow me
www.instgram.com/rularules1

Another great poem - :)

Love to you

Mand xxxx

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