Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

Goodbye sweet companion

On the vale of thorn abreast we ambled.
Un-frazzled, to the hawthorn we held.
Though a twinge we felt, the haw we sought and
heyday we dreamed of.
Out of vague future luminous dreams we hewed,
though nadir soared, and hope in the depth of sea
of cruel fate brawled to emerge, but with verve
cocooned in glaring dreams firmly on the part to
heyday by grass of murk overgrown we trod.

On the base of that mount of haze for light
we groped, undaunted by the baleful eyes of haze.
Stoic steps we made, isle of heyday bound unpetrified.
Though by gale of futility like a chaff buffeted and sullenness our dreams enshrouded, the shadow of vagueness to mettle must falter, for a bright dawn it heralds when the night dour becomes .

On an oasis, in solitary now I walk.
Under a leafy bough in sobriety now I sit.
Mount of haze now humbled, gale of futility now serene
and the isle of heyday now my haven.

But mortality, my mirth with its ravenous
canine impaired.
And everyday as the sun rises for a glimpse of your
face in solitariness I yearn.
But in delusion I bask, for gone, gone eternally you are.
Your apparition in my psyche etched, only is left
to be companion.

But home truth I must not evade.
Home time for you it was, for home sick
you said you were.
Held in the paw of death.
Torn by the lethal canine of death,
in the gizzard of death you eroded.
From dust you came and to dust you returned.
For you in deluge of tears I swim.
Goodbye sweet companion.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage: 

Comments

i couldn't get all the grammatical composition computed on this work but i am convinced it is more of the lost a loved one.
nice one Godwyn

Thanks so much for stopping by, Chiori. It's my very first poem I had to exhume it from somewhere. The grammars definitely have meanings.

author comment
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.