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A Good Story

Submitted by gregwa8 on Sat, 2019-03-09 01:53

If it was
A matter
Of a good story

I would be
Ready to die
Today

Like Lenny
Listening
To George
Tell about the rabbits

As his friend
Put the gun
Silently
To his head

He had it almost
In his hands
Though life
Had other plans

He certainly
Had it
Already
In his heart

I think I would be
Ready to die

But perhaps
I am like
The disciples
On the road to Emmaus

Whose hearts burned
In their chest
As the risen Lord
Opened the scriptures
To them

I hear the stories
But I miss God
Walking right their
With me

Perhaps
Just listening
Is not enough

Perhaps there is more
Than watching
The plays
Reading the books

Putting the puzzle
Of other people’s lives
Together
In my mind

Perhaps God
Perhaps God

Is my own
Story
Told

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft

Comments

Geezer

Sat, 2019-03-09 11:34

Geezer's picture
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and introspection is one of the best. your title drew me in and I like the theme. The language was good an I thought it flowed well from beginning to end. I particularly liked the " Perhaps God
Perhaps God"
A thought here. I saw it as Perhaps God? Perhaps God. As a question and not so much as a statement but an half, almost statement. There is a typo in "Walking right [there] with me. A nice write!
~ Geezer.
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