Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

On Golden Sands

Together 
There is a hush as the sea
Gently flows back and forth
Onto the Golden sands we know
There caught in the light
 
Where true feelings glow
Two people stood holding
On to each other’s soul
Their smiling gaze
 
As the Angels shine
In the intimate knowledge
Of their being joined,
With a trust so true
 
Laughter sings out
As the babbling stream’s,
Catching the sun
Scattering it’s light
 
Words no longer used,
As looks portray,
A love of the ages,
They have captured
 
Where their trust
Two souls live on, 
 
Apart Once more
 
In the whirlpools
Of their ageless time
They have spent inside
I hold your soul!
 
Is the echoing sound
Out across the waters,
I hold your soul!
With my love that’s true.
 
I give to you my all,
The reply rebounds with joy
That mimics the echo
Of two souls held aloft
 
Where all can see.
A special creature
Held in chrysalis state
Waiting for the sun
 
To warm its ways
You will then emerge
As a beautiful butterfly
Of feelings soon
 
To be free and new,
With love to give
Hold on to these places
All things are sweet to you 
 
Your life’s blood,
The blood of your life
Hold them close
For they and only they
 
Can see the veils of time,
As they hold your soul
Give only to those
That earn your love
 
With the trust of all things,
Also the trust of bygone days
Given to you the hope
That in your future times
 
There will be two,
Building for your life
Build on sweetest thought
Of life that you are,
 
Where the heavens
Loaned us one of theirs
Build within the confines
Of your intricate mind,
 
So that you are strong
A tower of strength
For yours that need
 
Yenti

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Editing stage: 

Comments

You know that I am a man of rhyme, but this touched me in ways that I really can't explain. I read and re-read this until I could think of it as something that didn't need to rhyme. Then I got the sense of what you were saying. I really liked this one from you. it makes perfect sense. ~ Gee

Our Chatroom is open 24/7 Feel free to use it for
keeping in touch We have poets around the world and it is fun
to have real-time conversations with those that are up
all night or on the other side of the world.
.

Thank you, that you could see and then feel the theme, rather selfish of me talking about my own feelings to that depth.
Of late I don't seem to write of the truths as they are now hidden deep in memory.
I wonder if to write of true feelings there would be a beauty that nothing could touch, may be, just may be, this is why I write a lot of fiction.
We travel and meet many people in our lives, some are just passing strangers but then there are others that you join and become one, then still you have to move on because the place is not yours to be.
Hey that's a deep answer but on reflection of your writes I detect that you also have travelled and joined with others, but in our vast store of memories I think we shall have to read those books in silence.
Thanks again Yours as always Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

author comment

you can continue to compose
till cows come home ,,,
I shall read the last post
as the cows I follow
being a cowboy!
hahahaa

your absence on my wall
has been felt
take some time off your epi- ceee
and say a word
friendly one to me

loved

A sojourn of delicacy for you to dwell with as the mood flows.
Thank you for your visit young Bard.
Yours as always Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

author comment

for all the right reasons this poem goes beyond the physical as i am made to understand in the poem, you the knowledge of soul twine ascribed only to the meta-physical , any-one who can make poetry do that is gifted , loved the read as i do with your poetry, my mentor

Thank you for your comment, you will notice that I refer to the children a lot in my writing to people and in some of my main works.
They are the Spirit children, they give me a good understanding of how they are, but to actually paint a proper picture of their ways is so hard. They have many more colours than we do they communicate with think and make things that way, just to make points, but the feelings they have as energy, or more like beautiful patterns of energy each unique to the individual is a bit beyond my pen.
I have over 200 hrs of talking to the children, now that sounds strange but I shall leave it at that unless an explanation is required, they taught me many things over a period of time but have now nearly stopped talking, as they have been told that I am able to write of their ways without their daily visit, I miss them so much but their teachers are right and this piece is bordering on how things are with their world.
Take care out there and know you are part of a very large family,
Yours Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

author comment

Ian this poems extends to my soul , really i love it, when you start coining the fission of presence in compulsion for love that they must coin-join their soul in oneness i truly get reticent and admiration for intrigues that trigger natural forces that you speak of, in crystalline show of nativity

Not stupid, but slow and deep in my thoughts. That's one of the reasons I love the internet, I have time to think things through. In conversation I get confused and my best rejoinders come after the conversation is over. I suspect you are similar.

I used to think you were slow but now I know it takes time for you to assimilate your lessons. This is very fine, deep and thoughtful poetry.

My only crit is-
Of your beautiful mind,
[there is always a better word than beautiful.]

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

Thank you for all your attention to my words, I see you have been very busy, and Neopoet owes you a lot of space.
My dear friend, I always listen and mostly take in the things you say, but as you know I am getting on a little bit.
The others are more in need of your wisdom I just steal the pieces of your thoughts and get it right sometimes.
My reticence comes from way back when I attended school.
At around nine I was doing four figure logs from the books I found in the cupboard of the tiny village school I was in, I could multiply three figure numbers together in my head, they stopped me doing that and made me re join the nine year olds,
the excuse they gave was that there was something about young ones like me having Brain storms.
Things have moved on nowadays and I wish I could start learning as our grand children do but it wont happen.
So please forgive me for seeming not to learn, I honour your wisdom and ability to teach, I will always listen.
You take care young teacher the children need you,
Yours Ian

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

author comment

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

That you read the poems is good enough for me, a huge thank you my friend, Yours as always, Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

author comment

Ian, the title caught my eye. This is beautiful poetry

joe

did you mean to say ur brain has now been stormed
age factor maybe
but u still compose
what they all call poetry
unlike me
as now u read me occasionally

loved

(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.