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Glory Hills Church

Submitted by trekker on Fri, 2018-04-27 14:33

It stood amongst Glory Hills,
a hundred years old and standing still,
a place to congregate,
a place to contemplate,
people with a common belief,
looking for relief.

Age manifested by graveyard crosses,
told life stories with their losses.
A testament of sectarian immigrants,
trying to make a life that makes sense.
Tradition and ceremony passed on,
in worship and in song.

Many lives passed through that Holy entry,
over the past changing century,
baptisms, confirmations, marriage and death,
a life long standard 'til their last breath,
steering lives in old way days,
trying to fit new day ways.

This was my fathers last church,
for parishioners in search,
for direction and meaning,
in God, supreme being.
Five years father preached God's message,
for the people of Stony Plain village.

Style / type:

Free verse

Review Request (Intensity):

I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Review Request (Direction):

What did you think of my title?

How was my language use?

What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?

How does this theme appeal to you?

How was the beginning/ending of the poem?

Is the internal logic consistent?

Last few words:

In honour of my father(1916-1994)Peter Dekker. The church is still there and is being renovated for a "Arts and Cultural" facility. They still have no plumbing and outhouses are still in use. It almost was torn down and it was sold to a local philanthropist for the sum of one dollar. It is a local Landmark and stands with a new church immediately behind it. It's cross is still silhouetted against the huge Albertan sky and can be seen for miles.

Editing stage:

Editing - rough draft

Comments

Geezer

Sat, 2018-04-28 15:30

As I started...

to read this, at first it seemed like just another religious poem.
I don't know why I even bothered to read it, except that I felt something different about it.
Being chiefly a rhymer, I noticed that while the rhythm hit a few bumps, the message started to come through and that was what kept me reading all the way through!
I like how you tied it all together; the birth, deaths, weddings and rites and ceremonies: threads that ran through the community. Very good! ~ Geezer.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

raj

Sat, 2018-04-28 17:10

Hi Trekker

Your poem created for me a sense why people visit a Church for different reasons in search of solace which is central. Be it at a train station or places of congregation I often look with interest at others trying to contemplate "what brings them here"

the end line of stanza 3 perhaps may need some tweak is my personal opinion...

thanks for creating this perspective.
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raj (sublime_ocean)

gregwa8

Wed, 2018-05-02 03:48

I like the rhyme scheme and

I like the rhyme scheme and some of the creative rhymes that you came up with, like "sense" and "immigrants." I like the line "age manifested by graveyards." The way it gives age to the place, as well as the people who have aged and passed. It is an ode to a church that you obviously cared about and have been a part of for many years. Thanks for sharing!

trekker

Thu, 2018-05-03 10:45